V.1
This probably the realest song I ever did
Got me holding back the tears like Simply Red
Whoever said it's a thin line between love and hate is not joking
Still I never knew it was so thin
Truthfully I ain't usually this open
Guess that's what happens to you when you've been broken
So I'ma talk about stuff I don't wanna talk about
Even though it's in the past and it's sorted out
If I ain't gonna share my experience, what's it all about
My heart's broke, let me pour it out like the alabaster box
No more disguises and lies coz man I had to stop
Plus it was hard to write after arguing and fighting with my wife
Coz I never had cash to shop
Feeling like going back to the block, transacting the rock
Now what happened to God, I feel broken
V.2
Yeah I'm on stage, touring the landscape
Its become a game I perform for the fan's sake
At home Satan's at my door in a rampage
Funny how I never saw till it was a tad late
Ain't even sure if this man's saved
Making the same dumb mistakes I saw that my dad made
But I forget it all as soon as my band plays
So I escape by ignoring my mandate
Wanna go back to dating, but can't backdate
Back to the days when I wrote Angel, track 8
And what's bait is I'm supposed to be a real rapper
But I'm a fake and I feel lacking
I'm the reason why the world's looking at us saying
Church is just full of actors
Lord you broke me and showed me
That home was what really mattered
And me building ministry before my family
Is building backwards, that's why I'm broken
V.3
Times are really hectic, I'm in need of credit
But I'm knee deep into debit
Getting letters through my door and they're written in red ink
But I don't think that Jesus said it
I know I've gone far but I know He's still near
Yeah my heart's hard but I know He still cares
Though I ain't saying life's real fair
I'm saved but from other's ways there's scars that I still bear
Big ups to .. and James Maccabee
Coz that really could of been me up in the wheelchair
Yet I moan cause I don't own a BM(W)
And I'm begging for a whip, I don't mean ...
I just wanna own a jam but gotta own land
Just a home for my fam like a grown man
But no thanks, the old man's wrecking the whole plan
Nearly killed my marriage with my own hands
And I don't know if I'm a man or a mouse coz
No man will put his hand on his spouse nah
Ashamed in the booth right now
But I told you I'ma tell the truth right now so
To tell the truth
I felt like quitting when I heard that Ambassador fell
And well then Da T.R.U.T.H
I know it would of been me next coz
I ain't half as strong as these heads
I've been flirting with death, attracting it
Played games on the web, my soul got trapped in it
Feel like a vase with a crack in it
I'm acting like a crack addict and that ain't just a rap lyric
It's much more, coz what's more
Every time lust called, I hollered back and watched porn
Lord forgive me, I wonder if it's like what Paul felt
Feels like there's a thorn in me
And if I am saved
Then please free me from these damn chains
And help me believe that I can change
Truth is I was grown that way
No excuse though I know that's bait
I wasn't meant to go that way
Never should of thrown that plate
Never should of lost control that way mate
I swore I'd never do it, promise forever ruined
Coz I got a short fuse and I went and blew it
Thought I threw it all away
But through it all You were there to hear me pray
Now I'm here today feeling like I can see the light
You cleaned my eyes now I see my wife
Has always been my number 1 supporter
Yeah mother of my daughter
I just wanna love her like a husband ought to
And as a Father I'ma play my part
Coz if Azaliah says her daddy is a failure
I'm afraid that it would break my heart
Nah I don't want her seeing what I had to see
Nah I don't want her being where I had to be
But peace was a distant fantasy
And at night you just dream of having peace in your family
That was me and that was then
I hope I never have to be broken down like that again
Coz Lord I rather lose this world
Then to lose my family, my two beautiful girls
And if they ever hate facing the mirror
Coz they're shaped to look bigger than their favorite singer
I'ma tell it straight, I'm amazed by your figure
As I gaze at the treasure God's laid up within her
Lord you made me a winner
I was a slave and a sinner
I'm being changed from the inner
Thank God I'm saved and delivered
