[Verse 1] Population density around the world varies (It varies) It varies (It's extremely variable) And that makes it very tricky to find a lover you will cherish (You will cherish) [Verse 2] I spoke to a statistician on the matter He said, "James, I'm actually in a meeting,uh, can you come back here in an hour?" So I did and he told me what I'm gonna to say to you He's going to say those things to you [Interlude] Question: Where are the gospel singers? I thought we hired gospel singers Are they, are they not coming? [Verse 3] Statistically speaking, my one true love lives in China How will I find her? Statistically speaking, my one true love speaks Chinese And drinks many teas And I can't speak Chinese, nor Mandarin nor Cantonese And to be honest, those don't sound like languages They sound like restaurants [Verse 4] In fact, the difference in cultures would mean that I would need to learn a whole lot more about China Than a series of cultural stereotypes Albeit told in a Quasi-ironic way It genuinely bears repeating that A Quasi-ironic way And then we, we Radiohead this shit [Verse 5] Let me take you down 'Cause what's the point in going out on weekends? You may as well stay in and lie in bed 'Cause there are 7 billion people in the world And only 17 of them are in the Old King's Head I think governments around the world should spend Their GNP on a speed-dating event 'Cause I don't believe in destiny The stars or serendipity They're ways of dealing with entropy [Verse 6] But you say "James, I met my girlfriend in a lido These things really do happen, you just have to wait and see" I say "Yes but you were working in the lido You added her on Facebook; I think that's creepy." [Interlude] Hmm Instrumental [Verse 7] And I'm saying all these things in the Old King's Head I've had three Staropramens and I wish I was in bed But is that a group of girls walking in that I see? I recognise one and she looks at me [Verse 8] She's got bright red hair and Spanish eyes Dungarees and a disarming smile I want to talk to her but I've got the fear Then suddenly I see her coming over here Panic, she's coming over [Verse 9] She says "James I like your songs and I think you're kind of funny It doesn't bother me that you've got no money The world's a crazy place but it gets better Come with me and we'll be terrified together" [Chorus] So, just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China Just be patient and you will find her You don't need to go to China [Outro] Go if you want. I'm not saying don't go Just, it was ironic
Read the complete lyrics to "Statistically Speaking" by James Veitch in 2016. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Pop.
"Statistically Speaking" is performed by James Veitch. in 2016 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"Statistically Speaking" is credited to James Veitch. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
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