[ELDER PRICE]
You all know the Bible
Is made of Testaments Old and New
You've been told it's just those two parts
Or only one, if you're a Jew
But what if I were to tell you
There's a fresh third part out there?
Which was found by a hip, new prophet
Who had a little
Donny Osmond flair
Have you heard of the All-American Prophet?
The blonde-haired, blue-eyed voice of God
He didn't come from the Middle East like those other holy men
No, God's favorite prophet was All-American!
(spoken)
I'm gonna take you back to Biblical times: 1823. An American man named Joe livin' on a farm in the holy land of Rochester, New York.
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
You mean the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith?
[ELDER PRICE]
That's right, that young man spoke to God!
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
He spoke to God?
[ELDER PRICE]
And God said, "Joe, people really need to know that the Bible isn't two parts
There's a Part Three to the Bible, Joe
And I, God, have anointed you to dig up this Part Three
That is buried by a tree on the hill in your backyard!"
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
Wow, God says go to your backyard and start digging
That makes perfect sense
[ELDER PRICE]
Joseph Smith went up on that hill
And dug where he was told
And deep in the ground, Joseph found
Shining plates of gold
[JOSEPH SMITH]
What are these golden plates?
Who buried them here, and why?
[ELDER PRICE]
Then appeared an angel
His name was Moroni
[MORONI]
I am Moroni
[ELDER PRICE]
The All-American Angel (All-American)
[MORONI]
My people lived here long, long ago (So long ago)
This is the history of my race
Please read the words within
We were Jews, who met with Christ
But we were All-American
But don't let anybody see these plates except for you
They are only for you to see
Even if people ask you to show the plates to them, don't
Just copy them onto normal paper
Even though this might make them question if the plates are real or not
This is sort of what God is going for
[ELDER PRICE]
Joseph took the plates home
And wrote down what he found inside
He turned those plates into a book
Then he rushed into town and cried
[JOSEPH SMITH]
Hey, God spoke to me and gave me
This blessed ancient tome
He hath commanded me to publish it
And stick it in every home
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
Wow! So the Bible is actually a trilogy?
And the Book of Mormon is "Return of the Jedi"?
I'm interested
[ELDER PRICE]
Now, many people didn't believe
The Prophet Joseph Smith
They thought he'd made up this Part Three
That was buried by a tree on the hill in his backyard
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
Liar!
[ELDER PRICE]
But Joe said
[JOSEPH SMITH]
This is no lie, I speak to God all the time
And he told me to head west
So I'll take my Part Three, from the hill with the tree
Feel free if you'd like to come along with me
To the promised land
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
The promised land?
[JOSEPH SMITH]
Paradise, on the West coast
Nothing but fruit and fields, as far as the eye can see
[MORMONS]
Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
He found a brand new book about Jesus Christ
We're following him to paradise
We call ourselves Mormons
And our new religion is All-American
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
Wow! How much does it cost?
[ELDER PRICE]
The Mormons kept on searching for that place to settle down
But every time they thought they'd found it, they got kicked out of town
And even though people wanted to see the golden plates
Joseph never showed 'em
[GOTSWANA]
I have maggots in my scrotum
[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Um, okay?
(sung)
Well, anyway
Now comes the part of our story
That gets a little bit sad
On the way to the promised land
Mormons made people mad
Joseph was shot by an angry mob
And knew he'd soon be done
[JOSEPH SMITH]
You must lead the people now
My good friend, Brigham Young
Oh, God! Why are you letting me die?
Without having me show people the plates?
They'll have no proof I was telling the truth or not
They'll have to believe it just 'cause
Oh, I guess that's kinda what you were going for
[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
The Prophet Joseph Smith died for what he believed in. But his followers, they kept on heading west and Brigham Young led them to paradise: A sparkling land in Utah they called Salt Lake City. And there the Mormons multiplied and made big Mormon families. Generation to generation, until finally they made me. And now it's my job to lead you where those early settlers were led, long ago.
[ENSEMBLE]
Have you heard of the All-American prophet?
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Kevin Price!
[ENSEMBLE]
The next in line to be the voice of God?
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
My best friend!
[ENSEMBLE]
He's gonna do something incredible
And be Joseph Smith again
'Cause Kevin Price, the prophet, is All-American
[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
If you order now, we'll also throw in a set of steak knives!
[ENSEMBLE]
All-American!
