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Cover Art

Twirler Girl Lyrics by Jared Gertner

Band Geeks: A New Musical (Studio Cast Recording)

2018

[KYLE, spoken]
You think a twirler girl would actually go out with you?

[STEWART, spoken]
That would destroy the whole natural order of things. 

[ELLIOTT]
“Hello, Elliott.” she said
I think she finally noticed me!

[SPITZ, spoken]
It’s only been ten years!

[ELLIOTT]
Those are the first words she said
Since we were in soph'more chemistry
When she said:

[NICOLE]
“Pass the pipette, please. Thanks!”

KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN laugh. 

[ELLIOTT]
But I think she’s noticed that I’m not the same
And this time she even used my name

[KYLE, spoken]
Well, stranger things have happеned. 

[SPITZ, spoken]
Yeah, Milli Vanilli won a Grammy. 

[ELLIOTT]
Bright white tеnnis shoes, a smile that cures any blues

[SPITZ]
She makes your flag unfurl

[KYLE]
But do you really have a prayer?

[STEWARD]
You’re just a tuba player

[ALVIN]
And she’s a twirler girl

[KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN]
She’s a twirler girl

[KYLE, spoken]
Besides, isn’t she, like, engaged to that jerk from the swim team?

[ALVIN, spoken]
No! He dumped her last week. Right in the middle of her shift at the Chick-Fil-A. 

[SPITZ, spoken]
Brutal!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
Maybe if her best friend put in a good word? On my behalf?

[SPITZ]
Nicole likes guys who are tall
Who act real macho and in command

[ELLIOTT]
That’s true, but still after all
I’m captain of the school marching band

[SPITZ]
I mean, I think she likes athletes, dude

[ELLIOTT]
But I’ve been working out on the elliptical
My weight is down, can’t you see?
And now I’m thinking that the feeling’s reciprocal
By the way that she looked at me

Fifteen pounds lighter, maybe I could invite her out
For a chocolate strawberry swirl
She could drink it while I eat a salad with a side of pita

[KYLE, STEWART, SPITZ & ALVIN]
She’d be your twirler girl!

[ELLIOTT]
She’d be my twirler girl!

[SPITZ, spoken]
There’s no way you’ve got a shot with her, home slice!

[ELLIOTT, spoken]
You guys are just jealous. She’s totally into me. 

[STEWART, spoken]
Yeah, right, and Sousa wrote waltzes!

[ELLIOTT]
And Nicole is prettier than my brother’s girlfriend
The “Miss Cuyahoga Falls” winner
And my whole family would look at me differently
If I brought her home to have dinner
My dad would put down his golf magazine
And my mom would stop watching T.V. 
And they’d see that I was someone
For once I’d be someone
Not just my weatherman brother, but me

Then she’d come up to my room, and we’d sit on my floor
Reading rare-back issues of the Fantastic Four
Then we’d watch all three Star Wars movies in succession
And I’d crack her up with my Chewbacca impression

ELLIOTT does a wookie roar

And we’ll play two-player on my Nintendo System
And I’ll play my compositions
How could she resist ‘em?
‘Cause secretly, she’ll say, “I love all that stuff,”
Just like me, a music lover and a sci-fi buff
And finally she’ll see that I’m good enough
I’d be good enough!

And we’ll ride to school in my brother’s Chevy Malibu
The former swine and his pearl
And all the jocks’ll turn around to get a better view of
Me and my twirler-

Finally I’ll walk the halls without any cat calls
No, they’ll have no insults to hurl
Oh, I can’t wait to see the way that they look at me
Me and my twirler girl
My twirler girl!
Credits
Jared Gertner

Jared Gertner

About “Twirler Girl” by Jared Gertner

Read the complete lyrics to "Twirler Girl" by Jared Gertner from the album "Band Geeks: A New Musical (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2018. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Brass Band, Musicals, Theatre.

"Twirler Girl" is performed by Jared Gertner. from the album "Band Geeks: A New Musical (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2018 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Twirler Girl", explore more songs by Jared Gertner using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Jared Gertner · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Twirler Girl" is credited to Jared Gertner. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Twirler Girl" appears on "Band Geeks: A New Musical (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2018.

Visit the Jared Gertner artist page at /artist/jared-gertner for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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