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According to the Wiki Lyrics by Jared Loftin, Will Connolly

Teeth (Original Off-Broadway Cast Recording)

2024

[RYAN, spoken]
Ooh. There's a wiki on the myth of Dentata. Okay. Well, let's take a look

[RYAN]
According to the wiki
Dentata is a goddess who beats Genesis
By 10,000 years
According to the wiki
Her name just means teeth
She's at the heart of mens emasculation fears

Hidden in her labia
Fangs like drac
With an appetite for penis as a midnight snack
They're a feminine protection
From a masculine attack
According to the wiki

[BRAD, spoken]
Truthseekers near and far! Do you feel me?!

[TRUTHSEEKERS]
We feel you, Truthseeker!

[BRAD, spoken]
Behold what I have learned about the leader of the feminocracy

[BRAD]
According to the wiki
Dentata was relentless in her butchering
Of everything male
According to the wiki
Wherever she went
Dentata left a gruesome, bloody, phallic trail

[TRUTHSEEKER #3]
Dawn has now embodied her with great skill

[TRUTHSEEKER #1]
Dentata reborn against mans will

[BRAD]
Soon she'll build herself an army
And one by one they'll kill

[BRAD & TRUTHSEEKERS]
According to the wiki

[BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS]
Until there is a hero
A most unlikely hero who comes to town
To break the spell

[BRAD]
With the power to dismember

[RYAN]
With the power in his member

[BRAD]
To break the teeth and send them on a
One way back to hell

[RYAN]
And only he of purity can see
This mission through

[BRAD]
To be that man we have to plan
Essentially a coup

[BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS]
And only he of purity can see
This mission through
To be that man we have to plan
'Cause that's what heroes do

[RYAN & BRAD]
According to the wiki
The hero is a man
Of noble character
And courage galore

[BRAD]
I've never been the hero

[RYAN]
I've never been the guy who saves the day
Just the sodomite next door!

[BRAD]
Yes they could dismember me

[RYAN]
I could die

[BRAD]
But the win is worth the win and so we have to try

[RYAN]
And doing this will help Dawn too
That's always been the goal

[BRAD]
She's a vaginal black hole
That's just a body with no soul

[BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS]
She just needs a man who can bring
Her body under his control
According to the wiki!

About “According to the Wiki” by Jared Loftin

Read the complete lyrics to "According to the Wiki" by Jared Loftin, Will Connolly from the album "Teeth (Original Off-Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2024. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Off-Broadway, Musicals, Pop.

"According to the Wiki" is performed by Jared Loftin, Will Connolly. from the album "Teeth (Original Off-Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2024 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "According to the Wiki", explore more songs by Jared Loftin, Will Connolly using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"According to the Wiki" is credited to Jared Loftin, Will Connolly. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"According to the Wiki" appears on "Teeth (Original Off-Broadway Cast Recording)" in 2024.

Visit the Jared Loftin, Will Connolly artist page at /artist/jared-loftin for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


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