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Jingle Bombs (Achmed) Lyrics by Jeff Dunham

Chestnuts!

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Dashing through the sand
With a bomb strapped to my back
I have a nasty plan
For Christmas in Iraq
I got through checkpoint A
But not through checkpoint B
That's when I got shot in the ass
By the US Military...
(Silence! I'm not finished! And this is a sad song!)
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
Mine blew up you see
Where are all the virgins
That Bin Laden promised me?
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
U.S. soldiers shot me dead
The only thing that I have left
Is this towel up on my head
I used to be a man
But every time I cough
Thanks to Uncle Sam
My nuts keep falling off
(Stop looking, you perverts! You can look, Badonkadonk Chick. And I have an Irish Weiner! It's magically delicious. Okay, that's funny, I'll give you that one, that was good.)
My bombing days are done
I need to find some work
Perhaps it would be much safer
As a convenient store night clerk
Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs
I think I got screwed
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead
Or I kill you...
Credits
Jeff Dunham

Jeff Dunham

About “Jingle Bombs (Achmed)” by Jeff Dunham

Read the complete lyrics to "Jingle Bombs (Achmed)" by Jeff Dunham from the album "Chestnuts!". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Christmas, Pop, Comedy.

"Jingle Bombs (Achmed)" is performed by Jeff Dunham. from the album "Chestnuts!" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Jingle Bombs (Achmed)", explore more songs by Jeff Dunham using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Jingle Bombs (Achmed)" is credited to Jeff Dunham. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Jingle Bombs (Achmed)" appears on "Chestnuts!".

Visit the Jeff Dunham artist page at /artist/jeff-dunham for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.