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’Twas The Night After Christmas Lyrics by Jeff Foxworthy

Crank It Up: The Music Album

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Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer
The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys
I was camped out in my old La-Z-Boy
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife
The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I
So I watched TV and my wife, she just cried
When out in the yard the dog started barkin'
I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin
He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws
And I got a complaint from a feller named Claus."
"Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus
And you ain't takin me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "Well, that might've been me, just what's he look like?"
The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly
That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly
He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sherriff, that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy," the Sheriff he said
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean
Tell me what you done, and tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought 'what the hell?
It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail.'
I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten and
I thought that my wife had been drinking again
When she walked in from work she was white as a ghost
I thought 'maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's.'
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head
And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter
A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter
Well, my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun
When outta Red's chimney this feller did run
And slung on his back was a bag overflowin'
I thought 'he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'
So I yelled, "Drop it fat boy, hands up in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care
So I popped off a warning shot over his head
Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled
And as he flew off I heard him extort:
"That's assault with intent Roy! I'll see you in court!"
Sheriff, I'll tell you this, you put a subpoena on me, I ain't gonna show up. If you're gonna show up, I'll hole up in the cellar and you'll never rid me outta there. So why don't say we just forget all this cuz we've known each other a long time. You just turn the car off, come in and we'll watch wrestling and eat some Easter bunny stew and talk about how ta catch that tooth fairy. She's been over here about every other night...
Credits
Jeff Foxworthy

Jeff Foxworthy

About “’Twas The Night After Christmas” by Jeff Foxworthy

Read the complete lyrics to "’Twas The Night After Christmas" by Jeff Foxworthy from the album "Crank It Up: The Music Album". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"’Twas The Night After Christmas" is performed by Jeff Foxworthy. from the album "Crank It Up: The Music Album" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "’Twas The Night After Christmas", explore more songs by Jeff Foxworthy using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"’Twas The Night After Christmas" is credited to Jeff Foxworthy. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"’Twas The Night After Christmas" appears on "Crank It Up: The Music Album".

Visit the Jeff Foxworthy artist page at /artist/jeff-foxworthy for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.