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Man Boobs Lyrics by Jeff Gangwer

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Life sucks big, black gorilla dicks
When you’re twelve years old
And you’ve somehow developed
These dangling targets that
The other boys call “man boobs”—
Especially when most of the girls at school
Are developing boobs of their own—
These captivating, itty-bitty wonders that
You can only dream about touching or tasting—
And when you’re naked in the bathroom
And you’re looking at these useless, awkward
Bulges that hang and flop from your hairless chest,
You begin to cuss your rotten parents
For every strand of their genetic garbage—
These cursed, fucking protuberances, you think—
And life sucks a few more during every
Desperate, painful round of
Adolescent discomfort,
Juvenile mockery,
And outright, open-air humiliation—
All so you can build and re-build your character—
So you’re somewhat prepared when you’re
Topless at the local swimming pool
And the chill that hits you
Freezes your tits into
Stiff pepperonis—
So the flat-chested, jackassy beefcakes can
Start grabbing and squeezing your man-chesters
And roar with wicked laughter—
Which, of course, attracts the attention of
The horrid, pimple-faced girls who also join in the fun—
Not because their boobs are any bigger or any better,
But because yours are the same size as theirs—
And because they know that you want what they have—
And you’re never gonna get ‘em
Credits
Jeff Gangwer

Jeff Gangwer

About “Man Boobs” by Jeff Gangwer

Read the complete lyrics to "Man Boobs" by Jeff Gangwer. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Literature.

"Man Boobs" is performed by Jeff Gangwer. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Man Boobs", explore more songs by Jeff Gangwer using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Man Boobs" is credited to Jeff Gangwer. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "Man Boobs" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Jeff Gangwer artist page at /artist/jeff-gangwer for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.