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Mascot Mania Lyrics by Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon

Prairie Home Invasion

1994

When I was young
Saw football games
At the great big stadium
Could tell the fans
From out of town
By the clown suits they had on
20,000 red cowboy hats
Means Cornhuskers to you
Mickey Mouse beans
With tiger ears
Shows you cheer ol' Mizzou
Let's not forget the Razorbacks
From the U of Arkansas
With plastic pig snouts
On their heads
Sooey, "How 'bout them Hawgs?"
That's
Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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I work all week
At a job I hate
Where everything goes wrong
Weekend's are what I live for
To your church I belong
I cross the street in San Francisco
When a chump comes out of a bar
Yellin', "Forty-Fuckin' Niners, man"
With his gold and red jacket on
In Cleveland throwing dog biscuits
Shows how much you love them Browns
While Bronco fans just hang their heads
When the Super Bowl comes around
Raider jacket dollars
Got the White Sox wearin' black
Statues of Joe Paterno
Sold in gift shops at Penn State
That's
Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Don't make fun of religious rituals
In any place
Lord help you if you laugh
While they do this with a straight face
Yeah, move over, son
Outside of the United States
It gets even more bizarre
In Tokyo they got a baseball team
They call the Carp
The Salmonbellies are the pride
Of New Westminster, B.C
C'mon, Greg Werckman, what's a Hoosier?
And why do they throw chairs?
When Sudbury, Ontario's
Hockey team scores a goal
They drag a stuffed wolf
Cross the ice
A fan shot it once, ya know
That's
Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Blue Streak
Horned Frogs
Long Horns
Trojans
Someone better tell Tipper Gore
'Bout the names of these here teams
Tar Heels
Gamecocks
Blue Devils
Crimson Tide
Real Indians
Sick of Redskins
And Tomahawk chops
It seems to me
That to stay mean
These names should change with time
The New York Muggers
Detroit Murders
And Chicago Mob
Boston Bigots
Texas Swindlers
And the L.A. Cops
Miami Drugs
New Jersey Dumps
Take on the Denver Smog
Seattle Fads
New Orleans Hoods
Milwaukee Cannibals
San Diego Jarheads
And the Arizona Drought
That's
Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Go Carp, go!
Salmonbellies rule!
Hit 'em harder cops!
But a hockey team called the Mighty Ducks?
Aw
Ladies and gentlemen, the Elvis Review
Heads explode when Dallas Oswalds
Meet Washington Bribes
Home team bands play "Cop Killer"
When L.A. comes to town
Pittsburgh Polluters
Houston Drive-Bys
Don't stir near the fear
When the Florida Abortion Bombers
Meets the San Francisco Queers
That's
Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Mascot Mania
Mascot Mania
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Anywhere you go
The game's the same old thing
Bet your money on the Bribes
They always win
Credits
Jello Biafra

Jello Biafra

Mojo Nixon

Mojo Nixon

About “Mascot Mania” by Jello Biafra

Read the complete lyrics to "Mascot Mania" by Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon from the album "Prairie Home Invasion" in 1994. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Country.

"Mascot Mania" is performed by Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon. from the album "Prairie Home Invasion" in 1994 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Mascot Mania", explore more songs by Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Mascot Mania" is credited to Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Mascot Mania" appears on "Prairie Home Invasion" in 1994.

Visit the Jello Biafra, Mojo Nixon artist page at /artist/jello-biafra for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.