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Ghosts Lyrics by John Mulaney

Kid Gorgeous at Radio City

2018

[Audience Applause]

Good evening. Hi, I’m John Mulaney, nice to meet you. Jon Brion, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming to see me at Radio City Music Hall. I love to play venues where if the guy that built the venue could see me on the stage, he would be a little bit bummed about it. Look at this. This is so much nicer than what I’m about to do. It’s really... it’s really tragic. What a historic and beautiful and deeply haunted building this is. I keep walking through cold spots being like, “I wonder who that used to be.”

I’ve never seen a ghost, by the way. I asked my mom if she’d ever seen a ghost. That’s where we’re at conversation-wise in our relationship as a mother and son, because I’m 35 and I don’t have any children to talk about and she doesn’t understand my career. So I was home for Christmas and we were just eating Triscuits in silence and I was staring at the floor and I was like, “Well, here goes nothing. ‘You ever seen a ghost?'” And my mom said, “Yes.” Which is the best answer. She said, “I never told you this before but our house, when you were growing up was haunted.” I said, “Say more right now!” She said, “Outside you and your brother’s room, I used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgown and then she would walk down the hallway and then she would evaporate.” And then my dad said, “Let’s change the subject!” And I think he was just doing that dad thing of, like, “This is a weird topic and I want to talk about a book I read about World War II.” But the way it came off was that he definitely killed that little girl. “Let’s change the subject! Why are we even talking about Penelope, or whatever her name was? I didn’t kill her! Whoever did kill her only did it to protect her from this world.”

None of us really know our fathers. Anyway, my dad is so weird. I’d love to meet him someday. You know, my friend was telling me that his dad used to beat him with a belt and that’s just the setup to my story, so... Forget about that poor son of a bitch. Anyway… He was talking and I was waiting for him to be done so I could talk. So he’s “talk, talk, talk.” It’s my turn next! And… I said, “My dad never hit us.” My dad is a lawyer and he was a debate team champion. So he would pick us apart psychologically.
Credits
John Mulaney

John Mulaney

About “Ghosts” by John Mulaney

Read the complete lyrics to "Ghosts" by John Mulaney from the album "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Live, Non-Music, Comedy.

"Ghosts" is performed by John Mulaney. from the album "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Ghosts", explore more songs by John Mulaney using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for John Mulaney · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Ghosts" is credited to John Mulaney. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Ghosts" appears on "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018.

Visit the John Mulaney artist page at /artist/john-mulaney for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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