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Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man Lyrics by John Mulaney

Kid Gorgeous at Radio City

2018

Strange, the passage of time. I’m not that old. I’m 35, that is not old. But I am in a new phase right before old called “gross.” I never knew about this, but I am now gross. I am damp all the time. I am damp now and I will be damp later. Like the back of a dolphin, my back. I am slick. The butt part of my pants is a little damp a lot and I don’t think it’s anything serious; but isn’t it, though? And I’ll be sitting at a restaurant and I’ll get up and I’ll be like, “What did I sit in?” And it was me. I’m gross now. I’ve been talking through burps. I never used to do this. When I was a kid and I wanted to burp, I’d be like, “Silence!” Blagh! Now I’m trying to push ’em down and muscle through ’em. I’ll be at dinner, just doing the bread and the seltzer, filling up like a hot air balloon, and then I’m like, “Did you say you were going to Italy? Because we have a travel– She has a travel agent if. I’m going to the kitchen, does anyone need anything? From the… [belches] Anyone need anything?” Just take a pause, John! I’m gross.

I have hair on my shoulders now. I don’t even have a joke for that. That’s how much I hate that shit. I was sitting up in bed a few weeks ago like… [groans] You know, life. And my wife was rubbing my shoulders, which was very nice of her, but then she started singing to herself. “Monkey, monkey, monkey man.” [audience laughing] “Monkey, monkey, monkey man.” Not at me. Not to be mean. This was a song from deep in her subconscious. I don’t even think she was aware she was singing it. But it was certainly not the first time she had sung it. I don’t know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room. And it’s not getting any better. I’m 35, but I’m still like, “Hey, when am I going to get big and strong?” This is it. It’s just going to be this. I’m like an iPhone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason.
Credits
John Mulaney

John Mulaney

About “Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man” by John Mulaney

Read the complete lyrics to "Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man" by John Mulaney from the album "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Live, Non-Music.

"Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man" is performed by John Mulaney. from the album "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man", explore more songs by John Mulaney using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for John Mulaney · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man" is credited to John Mulaney. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Man" appears on "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City" in 2018.

Visit the John Mulaney artist page at /artist/john-mulaney for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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