If You Were Gay Lyrics by John Tartaglia, Rick Lyon
Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)
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[Rod] Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me How could it get any better than this? [Nicky] Oh, hi Rod! [Rod] Hi Nicky [Nicky] Hey Rod, you'll never Guess what happened to Me on the subway this morning This guy was smiling at me and talking to me [Rod] That's very interesting [Nicky] He was being real friendly And I think he was coming on to me I think he might've thought I was gay! [Rod] Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care What did you have for lunch today? [Nicky] Oh, you don't have to get All defensive about it, Rod [Rod] I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read [Nicky] Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod I just think it's something we should be able to talk about [Rod] I don't want to talk about it Nicky! This conversation is over!!! [Nicky] Yeah, but [Rod] OVER!!! [Nicky] Well, okay, but just so you know— If you were gay That'd be okay I mean 'cause, hey I'd like you anyway Because you see If it were me I would feel free To say that I was gay (But I'm not gay.) [Rod] Nicky, please! I am trying to read What?! [Nicky] If you were queer [Rod] Ah, Nicky! [Nicky] I'd still be here [Rod] Nicky, I'm trying to read this book [Nicky] Year after year [Rod] Nicky! [Nicky] Because you're dear To me [Rod] Argh! [Nicky] And I know that you [Rod] What? [Nicky] Would accept me too [Rod] I would? [Nicky] If i told you today "Hey! Guess what I'm gay!" (But I'm not gay.) I'm happy Just being with you [Rod] High Button Shoes, Pal Joey [Nicky] So what should it Matter to me What you do in bed With guys? [Rod] Nicky, that is wrong! [Nicky] No it's not! If you were gay I'd shout hooray! [Rod] I am not listening! [Nicky] And here I'd stay [Rod] La la la la la! [Nicky] But I wouldn't get In your way [Rod] Aaaah! [Nicky] You can count on me To always be Beside you every day To tell you it's okay You were just born That way And, as they say It's in your DNA You're gay! [Rod] But I'm not gay [Nicky] If you were gay [Rod] Argh!
Read the complete lyrics to "If You Were Gay" by John Tartaglia, Rick Lyon from the album "Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under LGBTQ+, Comedy, Musicals.
"If You Were Gay" is performed by John Tartaglia, Rick Lyon. from the album "Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL.
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"If You Were Gay" is credited to John Tartaglia, Rick Lyon. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.
"If You Were Gay" appears on "Avenue Q (Original Broadway Cast Recording)".
Visit the John Tartaglia, Rick Lyon artist page at /artist/john-tartaglia for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.
