[Intro]
Woah woah
No drugs in heaven
[Verse 1]
See I was born July 31, 1968
My mama said a tree had fell on the crib the same day
Actually it was my father, that's what he said when he called her
He wasn't inside the room when I was born
My big brother was just about to be two in like thirty days or less
We had to move to an apartment, that tree had made a mess
My daddy worked at Bethlehem Steel, my momma who he paid for gas
And we ain't have much at all, but they maintained that we blessed
They was both from Jefferson Street 'bout a block away from the hospital
That Al Capone had diеd in when my daddy was 'bout to be two
His momma was an immigrant that died whеn he was just a child
His daddy died when he was fifteen
And that was 'round the time he's moving to the county in the neighborhood called Hawthorne
Made a brick like in the city, but you gonna need a lawnmower
'Cause we in the sticks and that's how it was lookin' long before I was born
And for those from out of town, I live in Baltimore
So everybody either sniffin' heroine or smokin' marijuana
It's two sides to every corner, but you gotta touch either side
Just to get to the other side of the other, so by the time I was walking in Kenwood
Me and my brother was disappointing my mother and showing up at the door
In handcuffs, and hoping that she still love us
In my defense, it had took me a while to fuck with the other shit
At eighteen I start seein' rocks but I never fucked with it
My brother did, sold 'em some blow to an undercover
What up, daddy beat us with where our troubles is
Felt like we was nothing, we really not doin' nothing
So it's nothing you can tell us, while we tryna figure out how to live
[Verse 2]
I dropped out in the tenth grade and moved to Ocean City with my momma
Got a job at Fenwick Inn while I was sellin' marijuana
Not a care, I'm seventeen, I never told y'all I could sing
But I be soundin' like a Jackson, but I'm just as white as
Dr. King's statue in D.C., but that's where I be singin' at
And that's where a man sellin' dreams was just happenin' to be
But even then it seems that I didn't believe
How I expect to see progress in some shit I never seen?
Payin' my papa checks, 'cause we got a lot of stress
On top our heads, I just collect my weed and smoke a lot of it
And pocket every dollar
I be profitin', and after awhile I move back around the way
And "Say no" is the phrase that they coined, but not a lot has changed
As time passed, the chemical imbalances inside my brain
Became a lot to carry, so I medicate to hide the pain
I'm distancing so far, I don't understand what my momma's saying
To keep my spirit high, I kept my cousins 'round and tried cocaine
[Verse 3]
In '95, met a girl named Debby, we got married '96
Had a son in '97, swore he'd never be like this
Debby was from California and her daddy was a vet
He got hit and got the purple heart, I'm at war with myself
I had a job cutting grass for BG&E
My lady had a job at the bank, and she had a degree
I'm good long as my family safe, and I knew I could eat the pain
The day I fell off a tractor and it cut off my feet
It turns out I'm a brilliant actor, awake through surgery
And while we had our back turned, they stole my lady's purse that day
And they gave me my percs that day, in May of '03
And now I'm laid up in a wheelchair with no places to be
But someday I started walking again, that's when I told my son
That pain is a sensation that mentally we can overcome
And then he broke his leg in two years, and the rhetoric was
He'd never walk again, but he did, so now they call him Luck
His grades slipped but he perservered, he was smarter than me
They told my mama I was retarded, so that's what I believed
I passed my G.E.D. with a D, but Luck got A's and B's
And the qualities they're seeing in him, they didn't see in me
I'm happy with it, but he'd do anything if his daddy did it
I just told him, "don't be like me" 'cause he could be better than this
Started slipping after that happened, and then my daddy got cancer
That was August '06, he died in March of '07
[Verse 4]
I slipped and fell and spent a night sitting in jail
I told Luckee I had a problem I had to get taken care of
Went to rehab somewhere out the Eastern Shore, figured it wasn't for me
I caught a hack back to Essex and showed up at my momma door
Like "I'mma fix it myself", but I got laid off every year
When it got colder, and that shit didn't help
And my relationship with shorty getting fucked up as can be
I start to notice that these drugs is destroying my family, how they does
And Luck was turning sixteen, his mans caught a charge for murder
But he stayed out the streets, 'cause Luck be spitting bars
He said, "that's how this country built to be", and he knew what it was
I said he didn't know shit and dismissed it, because I didn't understand
Until years later, I drove my truck down to my momma crib at the bottom of Florida
'Cause I put my hands on his momma, she forced me to leave
After she called the police, but now my son is eighteen
And I don't know what to believe
Because how the fuck is these drugs getting to me?
I had to come to my senses and take responsibility
'Cause I just stole a bunch of bread to get down to my momma crib
But my baby boy is a man, and they know everywhere he be
[Verse 5]
I had to tell him, "lay low until I get back on my feet"
I came back in two weeks, put it back where it's supposed to be
But now this job is not enough, so I'm falling back on the weed
That I'm growing out of the crib, and these pills that's prescribed to me
But y'all know the saying, never get high on your own supply
Now my cousins live with me, and the youngest is forty-five
But we was junkies, got evicted and my son was twenty-one
It's 2018, I'm living in a tent deep in the woods
And I just lost a stepson to the same drugs that I'm sniffing up
But Luck exhibit so much potential, so I just pray
For one day that he could lift me up, but he still gotta pick me up
To go to my appointments, so I could get my insurance
'Cause this money gotta get me some, lawyers moving slow
In 2020 I got kicked out of shelter, nowhere to go
I had to head back to my momma, and I said goodbye to Luck
That was the third-to-last time he ever saw me standing up
And then in 4 months it was June, I called Luck to wake him up
And tell him I was in the hospital, and don't know what to do
But I don't think he understood because I wasn't making sense
I was slurring my words because my kidney and liver went
[Verse 6]
That night I died and got resuscitated
I was in the hospital in Miami where they say that gangsters go to die
Right now I got my momma going crazy
And my son is knowing everything my brother told my old lady about
But now we talking everyday, me and Luck, he even came to see me
He was there to comfort my mother, but Luckee named her MeMe
And he got to show me his lady, and she was beautiful
I said, "you doing good for yourself, boy
If only you knew", my clock ticking relentlessly
And the last time he saw me standing up, the doctor said it was the end for me
Insurance wouldn't cover me, and life wasn't enough for me
To live inside a hospital while I was hooked up to machines
And I ain't talk to God in a while, but now my son is saying
That we don't really "die", when we die, we go to another place
I promise this is not the end, when I'm not here physically
I hope I'm an example, 'cause this is what withdrawal did to me
I spent my life running from feelings I couldn't swerve
My lady looked at me crazy, she didn't want me in her's
July 6th, my son picked up his girl after he cried
And that's because that was the day that I died
I can confirm, it really ain't no drugs in heaven and I'm better than I was before
Don't feel the need to do them, 'cause nobody up here hurt no more
And regardless of the fact I had no money when I died
I'm the reason Lor Luckee the best rapper alive, fuck is you talking 'bout?
