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Cold Blooded Christmas Lyrics by Jon Lajoie

You Want Some of This?

2007

It was late at night on christmas eve
I was dreaming of the soft white snow (white snow)
I was awoken by a noise near the christmas tree
What it was I did not know

It was santa claus, he was bringing me some gifts
Unfortunately I did not know that (I didn't know)
So I quietly snuck up behind him
And I shot him five times in the back

It went "bow, bow, bow, bow, bow"
He said "what the fuck - ow, ow, ow"
Then I shot him three more times in the head
Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead

That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard
And his red suit filled with bullet holes (oh, oh)
I said "Oh my god, I killed santa claus -
I'm not going to jail for this asshole" (Hell no)

So I went do my shed and I got my saw
And I started to chopedy, chop, chop (chop, chop, chop)
I started with his arms, then his legs, then his head
And then the torso was a really long job

And the blood went spurt, spurt, spurt
It was really hard work, work, work
It was hard cutting through his spine
I must have vomited 16 times

I burned all the pieces in my fireplace
The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose
11 hours later there was nothing left
Then thats when I heared my telephone

It was aunty Gene looking for uncle Bob
She said he left the house dressed as santa claus
But he didn't come home last night
"Have you seen him, god I hope he's allright"
Credits

About “Cold Blooded Christmas” by Jon Lajoie

Read the complete lyrics to "Cold Blooded Christmas" by Jon Lajoie from the album "You Want Some of This?" in 2007. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Pop.

"Cold Blooded Christmas" is performed by Jon Lajoie. from the album "You Want Some of This?" in 2007 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Cold Blooded Christmas", explore more songs by Jon Lajoie using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Cold Blooded Christmas" is credited to Jon Lajoie. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Cold Blooded Christmas" appears on "You Want Some of This?" in 2007.

Visit the Jon Lajoie artist page at /artist/jon-lajoie for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


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