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Had an Ass Like Gold Lyrics by Jonathan Something

Art So Small You Can Hardly See It

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In my day, I used to be a sinner
But now I eat that shit for dinner
Yes I used to be a wild case but now my penchant for the strange
Is A-W-O-L and he owes me money!
Do you know Joan? She’s a bank teller
She gets it on with this husky feller
I seen them the other day down by the YMCA
They were necking in the parking lot, tangled up like a couple wrestling bunnies
Yes I seen them the other day down by the YMCA
They were necking in the parking lot, tangled up like an 18 dollar pretzel
Yes they were
Last Monday night I met this Wizard
He said, “Love your Mama or you’ll damn sure miss her”
Well I kissed that wizard too, and his eyes read “howdy do!”
Then they popped right out his head like he was Bugs Bunny
Here at the fine, fine arts museum
We got arts so small you could hardly see ‘em
I overheard Hannibal Lector talking to the art director
Saying “Did you know Edgar Degas had 11 toes and painted with raw honey?”
“No he didn’t”
“Yeah, I know. I was just being funny”
How are you Mary Lou?
Or any hoo, long as you’re not blue
I was just talking to your daddy bout his 67 Caddy
This girl she’s seen everything from LBJ to the nights of hanky panky
I got this woman, she’s half insane
Does a mean impression of Michael Caine
Oh and when she quotes Get Carter I swear it doesn’t get much harder
I’ve never had an 80 year old British man turn me on quite like she does
And she does
If there’s one thing that I know
It’s that Jesus Christ had an ass like gold
When the band would play his song he’d jump right up on the drum
And shake that moneymaker like he was Mick Jagger
When the band would play his song he’d jump right up on the drum
And he’d do the Wah Watusi and The Funky Chicken
When the band would play his song he’d jump right up on the drum
And he’d shake what his mamma gave him like he’d damn well lose it
When the band would play his song he’d jump right up on the drum
And he’d get so goddamn gone he’d forget he’s Jesus
Credits
Jonathan Something

Jonathan Something

About “Had an Ass Like Gold” by Jonathan Something

Read the complete lyrics to "Had an Ass Like Gold" by Jonathan Something from the album "Art So Small You Can Hardly See It". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Had an Ass Like Gold" is performed by Jonathan Something. from the album "Art So Small You Can Hardly See It" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Had an Ass Like Gold", explore more songs by Jonathan Something using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Had an Ass Like Gold" is credited to Jonathan Something. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Had an Ass Like Gold" appears on "Art So Small You Can Hardly See It".

Visit the Jonathan Something artist page at /artist/jonathan-something for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.