[Verse 1]
Yeah, I’m still working
Still waking up to find my real purpose
Still trying to figure out what it's gon' take
Still trying to find a real connection and not through right swipes
Back when I was young, I used to hope to be liked
Nowadays, I’m honestly hoping to elope with Christ
In and out my brittle mind, just trying to keep my mental right
Sometimes I think it’s easier just to settle right?
But isn’t there a better life?
So, I'm still staring at the ceiling in my bed at night
Thinking 'bout what I don't got yet
Do I have enough yet?
Thought you had a hold on your life but it’s something you really don’t yet?
Hmhmm , It's all a work in progress
That’s what my therapist says, I respond with, "I guess"
I been wanting to get something off my chest
But it's not time yet, It might never be time
Will my kids forever be fine?
“I really hope” is what I’d like to think
'Cause my childhood was filled with tree climbs
And Oatmeal Creme Pies, and hearing Dan’s freestyles
I guess that she’s gon' be fine, or he will
I just feel like it's hard to be thrilled in times like this
When our hands can't keep still
A relationship nowadays can’t prevail
But there's beauty in the details
So I'ma try my best to pay attention to 'em
Spend your days with this and it will get you through it
I ain't seen an institute since this past New Year
Used to hate it, now my dreams take place in it
Sunshine is through the blinds 'til I wake in it
Just got done stretching like a game 7 finish
Now it's time to get something 'fore the day's ending
Yeah
[Verse 2]
I got, well wishes in my cellphone from my classmates that let themselves known
That they’re with me through the unknown
I know we had a stretch of time between us
That you use to feel close to me, but It's been a minute since
Did I change or did you rob me of my innocence?
Inner city kids I grew up with, we had some differences
But through our experiences, it's almost like they didn't exist
Allowed you and I to coexist
Times ticking, and moms fifty
Shit got you thinking, “I gotta start spending time different”
It’s more precious, what if you took the same method at 21 and really learned from the lesson
Sometimes I feel like I’m tripping for her dipping out of town cause I thought this was sincerely real
Palms itching, but this love was not Benadryl
Ain't no pattern to the way I tend to feel
It's all over the place, I'mma lower the shades and sleep in
I talked to a fella who saw the Insta pic
He told me, "Damn Josh, no one thought you'd go through this shit”
I can't relate, but see, I understand
Cause when they see me now, compared to back then, they're like, “who is this!?”
Don’t know if I changed but my feelings did
And I’m sorry for everything that I did
And I never would of thought that we would have ever split
And ff she hears this man, she’ll just cringe
I guess I did change, without her was like a real hell
Sometimes I feel like I don’t have any luck
So, I'm getting tore up like an ACL
Getting high before the sun rises
Trying to figure out why before my brain really derails
Playing breakup music through a JBL
My crib was non-vacant, I was smoking, getting wasted
Something was in the air, and I could taste it
After a breakup, I can't be on my own
Every day, I'd check for a text from her on my phone
I guess she didn’t want to build like they do in Rome
In life, you gotta let go of control
Yeah, It gets more difficult to rap every day
Cause I feel it doesn’t matter what or how I say It
Nothing is certain, except life sure ends
I try to keep that in mind but it's not working
[Outro]
You have so much to live for
And you are beautiful inside and out
And that you see that for yourself as well
Because if you've come this far, you can go further
You are so resilient, you are not brittle
You are not easily mendable
Your brain, your body, your mind, is so fucking strong
