[RONETTE]
(spoken)
There he is girls! I found him! There's Seymour!
[CRYSTAL and CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Seymour, ooh, Seymour!
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Seymour, can we have your autograph?
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
We saw you on the Channel Five News!
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
You looked so handsome!
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
And you gonna be soooo rich!
[SEYMOUR]
(spoken)
Please girls, not now
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Is it true Audrey Two is Grand Marshal for the Rose Bowl?
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Is it true the shop is decorating the Senior Prom?
[SEYMOUR]
(spoken)
Yes, it's all true. Now, please
[RONETTE]
(spoken)
There's another big hotshot lookin' for you, Seymour. From uptown. He's been askin' all over, where can he find you? You're famous, Seymour
[BERNSTEIN]
(spoken)
Is this him?
[RONETTE]
(spoken)
That's him, Mr. Bernstein
[BERNSTEIN]
(spoken)
Thank you, girls. Seymour Krelborn! Sweetie, honey, baby, pussycat!
[SEYMOUR]
(spoken)
Do I know you?
[BERNSTEIN]
(spoken)
Of course not, but are you gonna be happy when you do!
Seymour...
Sweetheart...
Dollface...
Bubbelah...
(sung)
Hey, Seymour Krelborn, you prince you
My name is Bernstein, I'm with NBC
I came down here to convince you
To do a weekly T.V. show for me
"Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips"
For half an hour on Sundays at four
T.V's first home gardening program
You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar!
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em by and by
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Your own T.V. show!
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Coast to coast!
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Your name in lights!
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Your face on screens!
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Sign it!
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Sign it!
[ALL, besides SEYMOUR]
Sign that contract!
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
Isn't it exciting?
[RONETTE]
(spoken)
Here he is, Mrs. Luce! We found him! He's right here!
[SEYMOUR]
(spoken)
Look, girls, I don't wanna see anybody else today
[MRS LUCE]
(spoken)
My darling, my precious, my sweet, sweet thing. So delighted to make your acquaintance
Cutie...
Sweetness...
Seymour...
Babydoll...
(sung)
I'd like a word with you, lover
I'm sure you know me; the editor's wife!
We want your face on the cover
Of the December third issue of Life
Yes, the front of Life Magazine
Now that's an honor we so seldom grant
We'll send someone down, let's say Thursday
For shots of you and your beautiful plant
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get
What's comin' to 'em
By and by
[CRYSTAL]
(spoken)
Life Magazine? Oh my goodness, Seymour! You're gonna make it straight to the top!
[CHIFFON]
(spoken)
How did you do it?
[RONETTE]
(spoken)
Here he is, sir! The incredible Seymour Krelborn! Owner of the fabulous Audrey Two. America's most amazing - and largest - unidentified plant
[SNIP]
(spoken)
Ooooh, so this is Seymour Kramhorn? We've been trying to reach you, baby. Have your phones been busy? Did you get our telegram?
[SEYMOUR]
(spoken)
I don't think so
[SNIP]
(spoken)
Well, it's a good thing I came down in person then. Pleased to meet you, kid. Skip Snip. William Morris Agency
(sung)
Forget the cable we sent you
It's nice to meet me, the pleasure is yours
Now let my firm represent you
We want to book you on lecturing tours
College campus, rotary clubs-
The kind of bookings my office can do-
Show the plant, then talk, answer questions
It's educational, lucrative too
[SEYMOUR]
My future's starting
I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and, gee
My bank account will thrive
What am I saying?
No way, forget it!
It's much too dangerous to keep the plant alive!
I take these offers
That means more killing
Who knew success would come with messy, nasty strings?
I sign these contracts
That means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things!
No! No! There's only so far you can bend!
No! No! This nightmare must come to an end!
No! No!
You've got no alternative
Seymour old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again
And unemployed
It's the only solution
It can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed!
But then...
There's Audrey
Lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impoverished as before
She might not like me
She might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me any more!
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
They say the meek shall inherit
[SEYMOUR]
Where do I sign?
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
You know the book doesn't lie
[SNIP]
Right on the line
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
It's not a question of merit
[SNIP]
That'll do fine
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
It's not demand and supply
[SNIP]
This copy's mine
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
You'll make a fortune, we swear it
[SNIP]
Couldn't go wrong
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE AND CHIFFON]
If on this fact you rely-
[SNIP]
Bye-bye, so long!
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON and SNIP]
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em!
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em!
[ALL]
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em!
By and by!
