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I Never Do Anything Twice Lyrics by Judy Kaye

Sherlock Holmes: Classic Themes from 221B Baker Street

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[MADAME]
When I was young and simple
(I don't recall the date)
I met a handsome Captain of the Guard
He visited my chambers
One evening rather late
In tandem with a husky St. Bernard
At first I was astonished
And tears came to my eyes
But later when I asked him to resume
He said, to my surprise
"My dear, it isn't wise
Where love is concerned
One must freshen the bloom
Once, yes, once for a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark
One must never deny it
But after you try it
You vary the diet"
Said my handsome young Guard
"Yes, I know, that it's hard
But no matter how nice
I never do anything twice"
Unh unh unh unh unh unh unh
I think about the Baron
Who came at my command
And proffered me a riding crop and chains
The evening that we shared
Was meticulously planned
He took the most extraordinary pains
He trembled with excitement
His cheeks were quite aglow
And afterword he cried to me, "Encore!"
He pleaded with me so
To have another go
I murmured caressingly
"Whatever for?"
Once, yes, once is a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark
Once, yes, once is delicious
But twice would be vicious
Or just repetitious
Someone's bound to be scarred—
Yes, I know that it's hard
But, no matter the price
I never do anything twice
Unh unh unh unh unh unh unh
And then there was the Abbot
Who worshipped at my feet
And dressed me in a wimple and in veils
He made a proposition
(Which I found rather sweet)
And handed me a hammer and some nails
In time we lay contented
And he began again
By fingering the beads around our waists
I whispered to him then
"We'll have to say Amen"
For I had developed more catholic tastes
Once, yes, once for a lark
Twice, though, loses the spark
As I said to the Abbot
"I'll get in the habit
But not in the habit"
You've my highest regard
And I know that it's hard—
Still, no matter the vice
I never do anything twice
Once, yes, once can be nice
Love requires some spice
If you've something in view
Something to do
Totally new
I'll be there in a trice!
But I never do anything twice—
Except—
No, I never do anything twice
Credits
Judy Kaye

Judy Kaye

About “I Never Do Anything Twice” by Judy Kaye

Read the complete lyrics to "I Never Do Anything Twice" by Judy Kaye from the album "Sherlock Holmes: Classic Themes from 221B Baker Street". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Soundtrack, Pop.

"I Never Do Anything Twice" is performed by Judy Kaye. from the album "Sherlock Holmes: Classic Themes from 221B Baker Street" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "I Never Do Anything Twice", explore more songs by Judy Kaye using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"I Never Do Anything Twice" is credited to Judy Kaye. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"I Never Do Anything Twice" appears on "Sherlock Holmes: Classic Themes from 221B Baker Street".

Visit the Judy Kaye artist page at /artist/judy-kaye for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.