[Robert Foster]
Good afternoon, viewers
Thank you for clicking through to view this exclusive brand new edition of Juice Rap News
Back through with a global transmission, with your host Robert Foster
And we're glad to begin by introducing this routine interview scheduled today
With our regular US guest, now Director of the NSA
General Baxter
[General Baxter]
Hi
[Robert Foster]
Can you provide via satellite an update on the state of empire?
[General Baxter]
Bob, I have to confide, I'm satisfied
In fact I got no axe to grind
Our Nobel-Peace-Prize President mastermind
Has a healthy appetite for sending drones to smash the lives of brown children, uh Muslims
I mean terrorist hoodlums
[Robert Foster]
Egregious!
[General Baxter]
Goddamn right we agree it's just!
Every American'll feel hot pangs of pride when they hear of this
But guess what I'm most excited about that's finally happening
[Robert Foster]
What?
[General Baxter]
The court martial of Private Bradley Manning
Three years without trial, and a touch of torture
That's how we punish dissent in the Free World Order
After this no one will dare blow whistles, or leak intel
Or question our right to read every single freaking email
Oops
[Robert Foster]
Did you just say you read everyone's emails?
[General Baxter]
What, emails?
No, we don't read, scan, track, record and store every detail
[Robert Foster]
(At all?)
[General Baxter]
No sir, not wittingly
Perhaps a few billion emails... accidentally
[Robert Foster]
Okay, General
We're just getting sent a signal
It's the fearless journalist crusader, direct from Rio
The guardian of civil liberties, Sir Glenn Greenwald
[Glenn Greenwald]
Robert, hello
[Robert Foster]
Hi Glenn, what quest are you and your steed on?
[Glenn Greenwald]
A hero has leaked classified documents, finally proving
That the NSA has secretly obtained access directly to all the servers of Facebook, Apple, Yahoo, YouTube, Skype, and Google
This PRISM system for spying on users from the dark side of the moon'll record everything, that arrives on screens
Emails, chats, Grindr feed
Robert, it took great courage from this whistleblower to decide to leak
They've taken a great risk in getting us, their fellow citizens, this critical glimpse into what is really happening, behind the scenes
[Robert Foster]
Mark Zuckerberg, your position?
[Mark Zuckerberg]
Werd, sit back, listen
You're rocking with Zuckerberg, fucking nerd tactician
[Robert Foster]
So PRISM?
[Mark Zuckerberg]
What's that, PRISM? Never even heard of that system
Yeah we got a program running, but we call it "Fascism"
[Robert Foster]
Do your users like that?
[Mark Zuckerberg]
A billion likes, cousin
And if you dislike something, here's my "Dislike" button
I'm in charge you fucking turds; interview's over, finished, ended
[Robert Foster]
Uh
[Mark Zuckerberg]
Mark Zuckerberg, CEO, bitches, unfriended!
[Robert Foster]
Uh, okay then. General, would you like to make a statement?
[General Baxter]
I'm disgusted
[Robert Foster]
You are? That's amazing!
[General Baxter]
I had no idea that this could occur; it's devastating
[Robert Foster]
Shocking, I concur; so will there be an investigation?
[General Baxter]
You betcha!
We're gonna get those who broke their oath to the law
[Robert Foster]
Wonderful!
[General Baxter]
And hold them responsible, this has gone too far
[Robert Foster]
I think the whole world feels the same
[General Baxter]
Call Gitmo!
I'm personally going to torture whoever leaked all this info
[Robert Foster]
Wait, what?
[General Baxter]
We've become a frickin' culture of leaks
What if every uppity geek who happens not to agree
With the state's tyranny decided to expose it to all and sundry?
[Robert Foster]
That might lead to a revolution
[General Baxter]
Indeed, see what I mean?
Look, we welcome this debate, openly; free speech is sanctified
[Robert Foster]
Okay then, does the NSA keep--?
[General Baxter]
Sorry, that's classified!
[Robert Foster]
So what are the laws for the--?
[General Baxter]
Eeng! Access denied!
[Robert Foster]
Well, how can we see--?
[General Baxter]
Oops, debate time has expired!
[Robert Foster]
Hold on, we're picking up another feed, this time from Hong Kong
Glenn?
[Glenn Greenwald]
It's me again, I got an update on what's going on
[General Baxter]
Greenwald! We're gonna prosecute you for reason, I mean treason
[Glenn Greenwald]
Uh-uh, your threats are no match for my shield
And you'll cower under the weight of words when I'm wielding my pen-sword
By the power of Greenwald!
[Robert Foster]
Uh, did you have an update for the people?
[Glenn Greenwald]
Oh yeah, now uh
World, meet the brave leaker Edward Snowden
He's made a video to reveal his motives for whistleblowing
What's up, Edward?
[Edward Snowden]
Hey Glenn, what's up?
[Glenn Greenwald]
Yeah, what's going on here?
[Edward Snowden]
Me wan big up the At Steppa 'dem Ellsberg and Manning, you know what I'm saying eh?
[Glenn Greenwald]
Yo, Snowden, they're gonna come around here looking for you today
[Edward Snowden]
Werd?
[Glenn Greenwald]
Werd. Bust it
[Edward Snowden]
Whistleblower!
You know say Eddy-a Snowden 'dem gonna blame
Fi' leaking secrets out
Dem NSA a say'na Eddy-a Snowden done betray 'de USA
By leaking secrets out
Whistleblower!
You know say Eddy-a Snowden 'dem gon' bla-ame
Fi' leaking secrets out
Dem NSA a say'na Eddy-a Snowden done betray 'de USA
By leaking secrets out
Working-a for 'dem NSA down in Hawaii
Findin'-a me some paper that na be irie
'bout de Babylon put fire 'pon de civil liberty
So me decide fi trade me safety
For de sake o' defend all o' me citizen privacy
If ya see sup'm, say sup'm
Follow me, and be
Whistleblower!
You know say Eddy-a Snowden 'dem gon bla-ame
Fi' leaking secrets out
Dem NSA a say'na Eddy-a Snowden done betray 'de USA
Fi' leaking secrets out
[Robert Foster]
Well, dear viewers, that's about it for this edition
But it wouldn't be complete without some final questions
Whistleblowers: they leak in the public interest
Now what remains to be known is: is the public interested?
If so, this might be a good day to exhibit it
Ignorance is a choice in the age of the internet
Many consider this all very bewildering
Some praise these acts as heroic, worthy of mimicking
Others condemn them as illegal and prohibited
But can't both be equally applicative?
To be good humans we're sometimes called upon to be bad citizens
Some nations were even born by breaking laws of the tyrannous
Do you support heroes from days of yore, who in order to cause reforms disobeyed the law?
Then what about those in the present who heed the same call?
This is Robert Foster for Rap News, good day to you all
