Seemingly synchronized, I felt Anxiety’s hand forcefully grip my shoulder from behind as I stopped dead in my tracks to marvel at the beauty of the spectacle. Anxiety and I had known each other for years. I would always be able to distinguish the cold, painful feeling of its clutch, but the pain felt different that time, more evil and fuller of rage than usual. I turned around to face its normal grim look of distaste. Anxiety loosened its hold from my shoulder but remained close to me. I turned back to look, but quickly realized I was making it obvious by standing out in the middle of the walkway. To avoid being seen, Anxiety and I scuttled behind a concrete pillar where I continued to stare lecherously. She leaned on a brick wall facing me, but she studied her phone intently, and did not notice me watching from afar. Like a corpse dressed for their funeral, she looked magnificent. She wore a black turtleneck under her black leather jacket and a ripped pair of tight-fitting black jeans that accentuated her hips just the right amount. Her face was bare of makeup, which allowed for her natural beauty to make other girls feel inferior, while her long, brown hair rested loosely on her shoulders. She was stunning. I watched in amazement for five minutes and thought of all the ways I could tell her how beautiful she was. I began to creep out from around the pillar and towards the girl, but before I could get one step to the ground, Anxiety vehemently yanked me back from behind and slammed me to the ground. “SHE COULD NEVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU”, Anxiety scolded. “YOU ARE NOTHING!”, it continued. “YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AT LOVE, AND YOU RUINED IT!” Tears started uncontrollably tumbling down my cheeks, for it had been almost two years since another had so completely held me by the heart. Anxiety called her directly by her taboo name, “REMEMBER STELLA?” Everything froze for a split second. All the socializing people around me suddenly became inaudible. A noise of rolling thunder began to crescendo and hundreds of memories from the greatest eighteen months of my life simultaneously collided in my cranium, climaxing with one grand mental explosion. I looked to the sky and looked back in the face of Anxiety. I screamed at the top of my lungs in agony at the pain, and tears continued to fall down my face. Of course I remembered Stella! She had dismembered my heart, tarnished my reputation, and sent me spiraling down the darkest chapter of my life. The last two years had been a long and emotionally draining recovery process. I thought that dark chapter of my life was over. I thought I was ready. But I was not. I turned to my left and much to my delight, I saw another of my lifelong acquaintances approaching us with a limp. I had known Hope for longer than I had Anxiety. It was clear by the way Hope trudged jadedly towards us that it was old, weak, and nearly out of purpose
With a deep, raspy voice, Hope exclaimed from afar, “Treat your failures as your stepping stones. Learn from your mistakes. Take the risk and seek the truth, or you will strongly regret never finding out.” My face dried of tears, and Anxiety remained quiet, for it had lost the battle. I emerged confidently from the pillar, and marched over to my future queen, leaving Anxiety behind and Hope in the distance. When I greeted her, the girl did not look up, and continued to look down at her phone. I expressed my passion for the beautiful girl and stepped back to hear her response. She finally looked up at me and laughed mockingly. I sprinted away as fast as I could, but Anxiety caught up, and punched me repeatedly in the stomach. I looked for Hope, but Hope was gone. That night, I returned home, and after deep thought and consideration, I ended everything. It had been too much to bear, but at least the darkness was over
