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My Mom is a Statistician Lyrics by Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk

The Mad Ones (Studio Cast Recording)

2019

[SAM]
My mom is a statistician
And she sees statistics everywhere
[BEVERLY]
Two to one, you'll hit a red light
Fifty to one, you hit a bear
[SAM]
She sees the world as a high risk game
Gambling with a fancy name
Trying to cheat death and stay alive
This is the way she taught me how to drive
Observe
[BEVERLY, spoken]
Say a car is traveling down the road at a constant velocity of 57 miles per hour and a pedestrian is crossing the road at 2.5 miles per hour, if the driver sees the pedestrian from a distance of a 132 feet and brakes, decelerating at a rate of 11.1 miles per hour per second, will the car hit the pedestrian, if so, when?
[SAM, spoken]
The answer obviously is yes. In two seconds. Physics is easy. Just plug the right numbers into the equation. Driving is real
[BEVERLY, spoken]
Are you ready to drive?
[SAM, spoken]
Are you ready for me to drive?
[BEVERLY]
Sure, I've had a good life
Slow down, Sam
You're growing up too fast
When it's time to go
I will let you know
I'll tell you when, Sam
Until then, Sam, let's just take things slow
SLOW DOWN, SAM, JESUS!
Do you know how many people die in car wrecks every year?
[SAM]
Yes, I do
[BEVERLY]
You don't
[SAM]
I do!
[SAM & BEVERLY]
41,000 people every year
[SAM]
I know
[BEVERLY]
That's a hundred people a day
[SAM]
Mom!
[BEVERLY]
Sam, you'll be a dead man
[SAM]
Woman
[BEVERLY]
Children under twenty shouldn't be allowed to drive
You can't trust your frontal cortex if you wanna stay alive
You grip on tighter when you steer
And overcompensate with fear
Or you will die tomorrow in the middle of the night
You crash and skid into a ditch
And no one will be able to find your mangled, dead, corpse
[SAM, spoken]
Yep, that's the mother I know and love
[BEVERLY]
Ooh
Credits
Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk

Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk

About “My Mom is a Statistician” by Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk

Read the complete lyrics to "My Mom is a Statistician" by Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk from the album "The Mad Ones (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2019. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"My Mom is a Statistician" is performed by Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk. from the album "The Mad Ones (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2019 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "My Mom is a Statistician", explore more songs by Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"My Mom is a Statistician" is credited to Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"My Mom is a Statistician" appears on "The Mad Ones (Studio Cast Recording)" in 2019.

Visit the Kait Kerrigan & Bree Lowdermilk artist page at /artist/kait-kerrigan-and-bree-lowdermilk for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.