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Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President Lyrics by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

1964

Guano: The other way.
Mandrake: Where are you taking me?
Guano: The main gate.
Mandrake: Colonel! Colonel, I must know what you think has been going on here!
Guano: You wanna know what I think?
Mandrake: Yes.
Guano: I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. And I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now, move! Mandrake replaces hands on head and begins walking. On top of that I don't know anything about any planes attacking Russia. All I was told to do was get General Ripper on the phone to the President of the United States.
Mandrake: Now just one second. You just said... the President.
Guano: What about the President?
Mandrake: Now, the president wants to speak to General Ripper, doesn't he? Now, General Ripper is dead, is he not? I am General Ripper's executive officer, so the president will bloody well want to speak to me, won't he? There's a telephone box over there, and the line may be open.
Guano: You want to talk to the president of the United States?
Mandrake: I don't want to talk to him, Colonel, I've got to talk to him. And I can assure you, if you don't put that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense, the court of inquiry on this'll give you such a pranging, you'll be lucky if you end up wearing the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant!
Guano: Ok. Go ahead. Try and get the president of the United States on the phone. Mandrake enters phone booth and closes the door. Guano pushes it back open. If you try any preversions in there I'll blow your head off.
Mandrake: Operator? This is Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, I'm speaking from Burpleson Air Force Base. Look, something very urgent has come up and I want you to place an emergency person to person call with President Merkin Muffley in the Pentagon, Washington D.C. Aaaa... Burpleson3-9180. No, I'm perfectly serious, operator, the President, yes the President of the United States. I'm sorry, I haven't got enough change. Um, could you... could you make this a collect call, operator? Mandrake waits on the call to be placed while Guano looks on. Just one second, operator. [to Guano] They won't accept the call. Have you got fifty-five cents?
Guano: Well, you don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do you?
Mandrake: Operator, look, ah... is it possible to make this an ordinary... ordinary trunk call? Well, what do you call it... you know, ah... station to station. Oh, blast. Still twenty cents short. Operator, hold on one... ah... I shan't keep you a second. [to Guano] Colonel, that Coca-Cola machine, I want you to shoot the lock off it. There may be some change in there.
Guano: That's private property.
Mandrake: Colonel, can you possibly imagine what is going to happen to you, your frame, outlook, way of life and everything, when they learn that you have obstructed a telephone call to the President of the United States? Can you imagine? Shoot it off! Shoot! With the gun! That's what the bullets are for, you twit!
Guano: Ok. I'm gonna get your money for you. But if you don't get the President of the Unites States on that phone, you know what's going to happen to you?
Mandrake: What?
Guano: You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.
Credits
Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George

Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George

About “Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President” by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George

Read the complete lyrics to "Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President" by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George from the album "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" in 1964. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Comedy, Screen.

"Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President" is performed by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George. from the album "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" in 1964 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President", explore more songs by Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President" is credited to Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Dr. Strangelove - Mandrake Calls the President" appears on "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" in 1964.

Visit the Stanley Kubrick, Terry Southern, Peter George artist page at /artist/stanley-kubrick-terry-southern-peter-george for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.