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Life Is a Competition Lyrics by Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall

Muriel’s Wedding the Musical (The Original Cast Recording)

2018

[KEN BLUNDELL, spoken]
Stop smiling. Look aggressive! I want to see a pack of great white sharks, hungry for gold medals.
[sung]
Right from the beginning, everyone of us is swimming
Sperm's in a race, competing for an egg
And like the Olympics, there can only be one winner
The losers end up as a wet spot, dead
A crusty defeat, a stain on a sheet
A tissue in a toilet, a drop on the seat
Now give me 110%, or you can piss right off from the main event
[COMPANY]
Life is a competition
Anything less than perfection
Takes you in the wrong direction
Training is repetitive, repetitive
Have to be the best you can
’Cause life's a competition, and
To be complete, you must compete
And to compete, you must be competitive (yeah)
[MURIEL HESLOP, spoken]
Ken? I sent you an email, about your post on Marry Me Already? About the ma--
[KEN, spoken]
Shhh. Mariel? Uhh, uh.. take a few more photos. Look like barracudas! No, piranhas! Piranhas feasting on sharks! So, Mariel, do you.. do any swimming?
[MURIEL, spoken]
What? No. You looked younger in the picture you sent.
[KEN, spoken]
Shkuratov!
[MURIEL, spoken]
Bless you.
[KEN, spoken]
Alexander Shkuratov, Mariel Heslop.
[MURIEL, spoken]
I feel like we've met before.
[ALEXANDER SHKURATOV, spoken]
I feel like we should not meet... ever.
[KEN, spoken]
Shkuratov!
[ENSEMBLE, spoken]
Bless you!
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Shut up!
[KEN, spoken]
Sit! Now, Mariel, you’ve probably heard about how badly Russia treats its LGBTQ.. RSTUV people.
[MURIEL, spoken]
They do?
[KEN, spoken]
Yeah, well, they've just been banned from the next Olympics for opening fire on a lesbian protest rally. Which is bad news for Alex here.
[MURIEL, spoken]
Are you a lesbian?
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
What?
[MURIEL, spoken]
Ho-ho-ho-ho, I don't know why I just said that, haha, haha.
[KEN, spoken]
Well, I suppose it is funny.. in a.. in a way. No, Alex is Russian.
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Do I look queer to you?
[KEN, spoken]
And not homophobic in any way, are you, Alex?
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
I love Ian Thorpe.
[KEN, spoken]
There you go.
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
And Kylie Minogue. And the Sydney Mardi Gras. And the films of Baz Luhrmann.
[KEN, spoken]
Okay, Alex, we get the point.
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
But I'm not gay, alright?
[ENSEMBLE]
So not gay
[ALEXANDER, spoken]
Shut up, Australian losers!
[KEN]
Ugh, ugh
He's so not gay, but he's a brilliant swimmer
He was born with fins, the limbs of a winner
He's a future champion, huge potential
Olympic medals, gold credentials
He's keen to join Team Australia
Without citizenship, he’s doomed to fail ya
He needs an Aussie bride, a perfect match
He’ll get $50,000 cold hard cash
[ENSEMBLE]
Life is a competition
Winning at times requires deception
Slight of hand or misdirection
[KEN]
Is that fair?
[ENSEMBLE]
You bet it is
Have to be the best you can
[KEN, spoken]
Now, I've worked out the story of your whirlwind romance.
[ENSEMBLE]
Life’s a competition and
[KEN, spoken]
The details of which you're gonna have to memorise.
[ENSEMBLE]
To be complete you must compete
[KEN, spoken]
The important thing is to convnce the immigration authorities and the media that you two are really in love.
[ENSEMBLE]
To compete you must be competitive
[KEN, spoken]
What I'm asking, Mariel, is, would you have difficulty lying to every person on the planet about your attraction to Alex?
Credits
Kate Miller-Heidke

Kate Miller-Heidke

Keir Nuttall

Keir Nuttall

About “Life Is a Competition” by Kate Miller-Heidke

Read the complete lyrics to "Life Is a Competition" by Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall from the album "Muriel’s Wedding the Musical (The Original Cast Recording)" in 2018. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Musicals, Pop.

"Life Is a Competition" is performed by Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall. from the album "Muriel’s Wedding the Musical (The Original Cast Recording)" in 2018 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Life Is a Competition", explore more songs by Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Life Is a Competition" is credited to Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Life Is a Competition" appears on "Muriel’s Wedding the Musical (The Original Cast Recording)" in 2018.

Visit the Kate Miller-Heidke, Keir Nuttall artist page at /artist/kate-miller-heidke for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.