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The Feast Lyrics by Ken Theriot

Human History

2000

I'm never late for dining in the feast hall
When dinner's called, I hasten to my seat
It's not that I'm assuming
That the meal will be a treat
But the first things on the table
May be all I have to eat
The bread and cheese are laid out on the table
And butter, honeyed, mixed with herbs, or straight
I'll tuck into them greedily
And pile them on my plate
For then there'll be no room
And they'll believe me when I state...
[Chorus] I'm sure the next remove's not on my diet
I see that I cannot identify it
[I'll pass on all the slimy stuff
And anything with peas]
Just give me bread and butter, and cheese
There must have been a special on cilantro
Or why else would it be in every dish?
They've cooked enough for armies
You can take all that you wish
But how much can you eat
Of boiled snouts and pickled fish?
I never knew that you could do that with a turnip
To eat it would be really such a crime
There's something green that's floating
In a milky pool of slime
My lord, please pass the basket
With the bread here one more time...
[Chorus] I'm sure the next remove's not on my diet
I see that I cannot identify it
[I'll pass on all the slimy stuff
And anything with peas]
Just give me bread and butter, and cheese
[The rancid meat's more period
It helps keep down the fleas]
The cook went over budget on the peacock
That's why we're getting gruel with every course
They say the candied herring
Soaked in mead's authentic Norse
This roasted meat is not half bad
But where's the Prince's horse?
I don't know how they got that shade of purple
I can't begin to guess what's in the pies
The fish head stew's okay
But did they need to leave the eyes?
And will our waivers cover us when everybody dies?
[Chorus] I'm sure the next remove's not on my diet
I see that I cannot identify it
[I'll pass on all the slimy stuff
And anything with peas]
Just give me bread and butter, and cheese
[Just take the sheep's head right back
To the kitchen, will you please?]
The suckling pig is only raw in places
I guess a bite of cabbage wouldn't hurt
They say it's more nutritious
If you don't wash off the dirt
At least the next remove is safe—
How can they wreck dessert?
There's something frittered (best not look too closely)
And sugared eggplant jiggling in the heat
The pie looks just like cherry
But it's really made with beet
Just pass the honey butter
And I'll have my something sweet!
[Chorus] I'm sure the next remove's not on my diet
I see that I cannot identify it
[I'll pass on all the slimy stuff
And anything with peas]
Just give me bread and butter, and cheese
[And if I ever win the Crown
We're going for Chinese!
But 'til then just pass the butter
Let the Cook's Guild moan and mutter
And bring me bread and butter, and cheese!]
Credits
Ken Theriot

Ken Theriot

About “The Feast” by Ken Theriot

Read the complete lyrics to "The Feast" by Ken Theriot from the album "Human History" in 2000. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop, Folk.

"The Feast" is performed by Ken Theriot. from the album "Human History" in 2000 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Feast", explore more songs by Ken Theriot using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"The Feast" is credited to Ken Theriot. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"The Feast" appears on "Human History" in 2000.

Visit the Ken Theriot artist page at /artist/ken-theriot for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.