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I Watched Every Show! (67th Emmy Awards Opening Musical Number) Lyrics by Andy Samberg

2015

[Intro: Spoken]
\n(That was..)
\n(Beautiful!)
\nDid you guys see "Game of Thrones?"
\n(Oh, when he died)
\nOh, yes
\n(Oh my goodness)
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nI haven't seen it yet
\n
\nOh, how about "Orange Is the New Black?"
\n(Oh wow)
\nI'm addicted
\n(Loved it)
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nI've- I've been meaning to, I'm gonna catch up
\n
\nMaybe watching "Mad Men" though?
\n(Ooh, girl)
\n(So great)
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nIt's- It's on my DVR. I'm gonna see it
\n
\nYou seen "Empire" right?
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nNot yet
\n
\n"Transperent?"
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nNo
\n
\n(Everyone started to say different shows at the same time)
\n
\n[ANDY]
\nSTOP!
\n
\n[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]
\nSo many shows, and so little time
\nI'm just one man, how can I possibly keep up
\n
\n[Spoken:]
\nAnd now, I know what I must do
\n
\n[Pre-Chorus:]
\nI locked myself away, cast myself aside
\nThey treat me like a leper, and so the leper hides
\nAnd once I fullfilled my destiny, I shall return..
\n
\n[Chorus:]
\nI watched every show, every single episode
\nI'm all caught up and I feel superb
\nI watched every show!
\nNetworks, Netflix, Amazon
\nAll it makes me nyarrh!
\nI'm overjoyed 'cause my DVR says:
\nYou watched every show!
\n
\n[Spoken Interlude: w/ Jon Hamm and Kerry Washington]
\nHey, Jon Hamm
\nI watched your show, "Mad Men."
\nOh, Andy
\nWhat's the last time you showered?
\nWould you believe over a year?
\nYes?
\nHahahaha, there was no shower toilet in my viewing bunker
\nGross
\nHey, Kerry Washington!
\nQuiz me about scandals
\nYou smell like dog feces
\nMore like human feces!
\nYou're a mess
\nMaybe but–
\n
\nI know everything that is to know about every single–
\n
\n[Spoken: Nathan Fillion & Andy Samberg]
\nHave you seen "Castle?"
\nUhh...
\nAnd now they're gonna show that I don't know
\nI'd said every show
\n
\n"Transparent?"
\nYes!
\n[?]
\nYes!
\n"Orange Is the New Black?"
\nYes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
\nI even saw "Grace of Monoco"
\nI watched every show!
\nBut at what cost?..
\n
\n[Verse 2:]
\nMy life has passed me by
\nMy son has grown to be young man
\nHe doesn't recognise my face..
\n
\n[Spoken: Billy Eichner, Andy Samberg & Will Forte as Inspector Javert]
\nPapa?
\nI'm sorry
\nSamberg!
\nYou're under arrest
\nJavert!
\n
\nYou've broken the law
\nI don't know what I've done
\nYou've watched too many shows
\nI'm an innocent man
\nBut your crimes against humanity
\nYou'll spend a life in chain
\nYou're insane
\nFor there's no law against watching TV
\nOh crap, you're right
\nI love your beard!
\n
\n[Spoken:]
\nThanks, I like yours too
\nOh, thank you very much
\nAlright, peace out!
\n
\n[Interlude: Andy Samberg]
\nNow I'm gonna run through all the shows
\nLike Billy Crystal at the Oscars!
\nOouh! Ouuh!
\nOouh, oouh!
\nOouh! Oouh!
\nHi! Oouh!
\nHi-hi, ooh-oouh!
\nHere's what's better
\n
\n[Verse 3:]
\nYou may have seen the Eiffel Tower
\nOr the Mighty Sphinx
\nBut I saw Robert Durst confessed
\nTo murder in "The Jinx."
\n
\n[Spoken:]
\nPardon me sir, we're trying to find a host for this year's Emmy Awards
\nWhat shows have you seen?
\n
\n[Bridge:]
\nI watched..
\nOrange Is the New Black, Better Call Saul
\nDownton Abbey
\nVeep, Wolf Hall
\nMad Men, Louie
\nGame of Thrones
\nHomeland, Mom
\nBroad City, Bones
\nKey & Peele, Modern Family
\nParks & Rec, Silicon Valley
\nEmpire, How to Get Away from Murder
\nBlack-ish, Inside Amy Schumer
\nHouse of Cards, Houdini, Flash
\nLast Man on Earth, reruns of M*A*S*H
\nPawn Stars and The Daily Show
\nCajun Pawn Stars, tosh.0
\nThe Bachelorette, Stephen Colbert
\nSNL, What Not to Wear
\nWife Swap, Private Lifes of Nashville Wives, Army Wives
\nPrison Wives, Trophy Wife
\nBasketball Wives, Mob Wives
\nSister Wives, Good Wife
\nWives With Knives, Real Housewives
\nAnd 40 more shows about wives!
\n
\n[Spoken:]
\nAlright kid, you've got the gig
\nNow get out there and tell some culturally relevant
\nBut not too edgy jokes!
\n
\n[Outro: Andy Samberg]
\nIt's time for the Emmys and my resume's postin'
\nAnd I'm the only one qualified to be hostin'
\n'Cause I've done watched every damn show
\nAnd I'm white!\n\n
Credits
Andy Samberg

Andy Samberg

About “I Watched Every Show! (67th Emmy Awards Opening Musical Number)” by Andy Samberg

Read the complete lyrics to "I Watched Every Show! (67th Emmy Awards Opening Musical Number)" by Andy Samberg in 2015. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop, Musicals, Comedy.

"I Watched Every Show! (67th Emmy Awards Opening Musical Number)" is performed by Andy Samberg. in 2015 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "I Watched Every Show! (67th Emmy Awards Opening Musical Number)", explore more songs by Andy Samberg using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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