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Gary & Melissa Lyrics by King Missile

Mystical Shit

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Gary and Melissa loved to make love
Loved to make love
Loved to make love to each other
Over and over and over again
For the first few weeks of their relationship
They made love four or five times a night
They were really turned on for a while
Then, to heighten their passion
They bought sex books:
The Joy of Sex
The Sensuous Couple
The Joy of Sex Part 2
The Kama Sutra
Even Yet More Still Joy of Sex
Popular Mechanics
Betty Crocker
Anything
They tried as many positions as they were capable of
Physically
Physically
Physically
They were really turned on for a while
Then, to heighten their passion
They bought sex toys:
Ben-wah balls
French ticklers
Nipple clamps
Cock rings
Whips and chains and bondage gear
Bowling balls
Dildos
Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for a while
They set up a video camera and taped themselves having sex
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
Then, to heighten their passion
Gary taped Melissa having sex with some of his friends
And Melissa taped Gary having sex with some of her friends
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
They were really turned on
As the years went by
Gary and Melissa became fine upstanding members of their community
Although they never married
Their relationship outlasted all the marriages on their block
And they never fought
Except to heighten their passion
They had made an agreement that when one of them died
The other would continue to live with and make love to the corpse
But as luck would have it
They were both killed in a freak accident
And died at the exact same moment
Holding hands
Credits
King Missile

King Missile

About “Gary & Melissa” by King Missile

Read the complete lyrics to "Gary & Melissa" by King Missile from the album "Mystical Shit". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Gary & Melissa" is performed by King Missile. from the album "Mystical Shit" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Gary & Melissa", explore more songs by King Missile using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Gary & Melissa" is credited to King Missile. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Gary & Melissa" appears on "Mystical Shit".

Visit the King Missile artist page at /artist/king-missile for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.