Wrapping gifts for my father on his birthday while listening to ginger
Luxury always dies but connection lasts forever
I didn't know that years ago so i sold my vendetta
Had to buy it back but that came with a cost, obviously
Simple direction in life & family lost, obviously
Started feeling like the only one out of them all, obviously
Can't even sit properly n write this song, obviously
My face on the phone
Im driven by fear and i know it
Im thankful my brain likes to hallucinate
Im afraid of every single moment
Because all of them can lead to pure decay
And honestly i think that is my purpose
Because im starting to like my bruised up shape
Im developing into again
Its a process that doesnt seem to replace me, its disassociation
I keep the second copy floating around roaming the big internet
I got me fished out, cast out, iron the crease, other side of the fence
When i pull up with something traumatic on me, does that count as self-defense?
I gotta sit here, with my wrists tied, my two legs bind, to the ground crying, cause i know i
Can't open up to who i owe
I should keep close but i know they know that i treat them like foe
Its not they arent but its going to be the biggest backstab that they know
Some of them dont even deserve it, i dont want to hold them to their throat
I dont wanna abandon my sister, i dont know how she will cope
I dont know how ill abandon my grandmama, she won't know that im hope
I can't even talk to them, cement screen, prison visitation closed
I can't even talk to them, mouth and brain fermented like pho
Can't be loss of translation because im done sending back a message
I know how this goes, youre not respecting
I know how this goes, you act depressing
I know how this goes
How many times to need to tell you that i know
I wish i could shoot ~~bullet~~s through your dome
I can play tha villain if u want
Toe goin numb
My jaw locked
Self esteem in the dump
Say my name 3 times
Promise u
My face gon b in ya mirror reflectin’ ya actions
Actually, it ain past shit that got u laughin
The thoughts that keep u actin’ on impulse
Ten toes down
Drop down on ya face like u floatin’
Hopin’ ts lil drink keep me tipsy enough 2 dive in
No remarks for the swollen tongues
Too egregious for sweatin’ out my defense regions
Ik some niggas out there detest eating great
Down in the nether, all i had was darkness & lava in a fucking cave
Burnt ashes mixed wit the blunts
Face me sideways & spit the tobacco out
Pretty pennies flipped for lenny typefaces
I cry in these blank spaces swiftly
Tailormade baggy pants
No suits for a skinny ass nigga like me
Can’t define my features
Can’t entertain no mediocre shit
Twists in these blunts we rollin’ by hand
Animated & spun by clay
See u from around my way
The fool got grazed by a sharpened blade
Mucus get slashed by the exhales
Remember when all i had was thoughts clouded in that dreary well
Live 2 tell the tale, come back
Get the veil 2 ya face
Kissin’ all up on the bride
Blood wiped up
Gon b as red as u think
Mother varmint in her truest glory
U can’t harm me
In the light we praised under
Forcefield of worship
Was so clear that it ain work
I ain een kno it was pretentious
Raisin’ up all my hands, full of tension
Mess it up with all my nausea
Vomitting on a bitch close 2 spillin’ punch on a bitch
Gettin’ punched in ya ribs
When the slugs penetrate, u won’t even kno that it hit
Brooklyn my foundation
Everyday i breathe, it’s a burning sensation
Terribly, i stay
Takin’ crowns as fast as i wash dishes
No fear of me subconsciously forgettin’ mad shit
Pubescent feelings gettin’ more maddening
Decisions gettin’ more rash
Every morning, i get more ashy in the knees
Shakin’ everyday like her ass need sum money
09
