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The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation Lyrics by Kobi LaCroix

2012

Ladies and men, may I have your attention
Do you have a yen for amazing deals?
I've got a bike, at a price you'll like
Please provide your own handlebars and wheels
Plastic mustaches, my grandmother's ashes
A cute and cuddly teddy bear, filled with knives!
Onion scented cologne for men
If your wives take offense, you can buy new wives
Tainted nighties, finger traps (snap!)
Christ almighty, look at this crap!
Hey, I can tell you're a thrifty consumer
And I've got some bargains you can't ignore
Don't be fickle, they must go quickly
Because they were nicked from a Target store
I've got a crate full of horse porn and vodka
Twelve left gloves, and half a hula hoop
Candy bars made of twigs and tar
Here's an authentic jar of Pushkin's poop!
Bolex watches, painted gold
Summer sausage, twenty years old
(Solo)
Bootleg Simpsons DVDs
Cotton candy, covered with bees
Hey, look at this! A Nintendo Genesis!
The console's busted, but the gun still works! (Bang!)
I've got smokes and booze! A bucket full of shoes!
Credits
Kobi LaCroix

Kobi LaCroix

About “The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation” by Kobi LaCroix

Read the complete lyrics to "The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation" by Kobi LaCroix in 2012. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation" is performed by Kobi LaCroix. in 2012 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation", explore more songs by Kobi LaCroix using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation" is credited to Kobi LaCroix. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Kobi LaCroix artist page at /artist/kobi-lacroix for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.