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Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite) Lyrics by Lou Kelly

Junk City

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When I try to make a fist
My thumb is tucked away inside
When I pull over my mask
It gives my face a place to hide
Oh, no
Oh, no
Where is my crime fighting pepper spray?
Oh, no
Oh, no
How will I keep all the scrum of the earth away?
That's why they call me a
Crap crusader
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight
Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?
When I try to throw a punch
My hand don't know where to land
Stand too close, I quit
I quit
Submit
I hide so my hide can't be tanned
Wear all black
Don't attack
Cigarette
Drenched in sweat
Oh, no
Oh, no
Where is my trusty old fog machine?
Oh, no
Oh, no
How will I make my escape with no smoke screen?
That's why they call me a
Crap crusader
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight
Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?
(Down)
Oh, yeah
Calling for help in the night
Plain purveyor
The first to lose in a fight
I'm all bark, no bite
I'm all bark, no bite
A giant with no might
I'm all bark, no bite
Yes, you heard me right
I'm all bark, no bite
Don't you know that I'm all bark, no bite?
Credits
Lou Kelly

Lou Kelly

About “Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)” by Lou Kelly

Read the complete lyrics to "Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)" by Lou Kelly from the album "Junk City". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock.

"Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)" is performed by Lou Kelly. from the album "Junk City" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)", explore more songs by Lou Kelly using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)" is credited to Lou Kelly. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Crap Crusader (All Bark, No Bite)" appears on "Junk City".

Visit the Lou Kelly artist page at /artist/lou-kelly for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.