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Carrot Lyrics by Mal Webb

3 Cheers for Peace and Quiet

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A farmer buys a donkey, he haggles down the price
The seller fella shrugs OK, but he offers this advice...
"Respect can't be demanded, it has to be inspired
A stick won't make that donkey work, it's a carrot that's required
Go the carrot, not the stick x2
Go the kiss, not the kick
Go the bicky, not the brick, go…"

Well, that farmer doesn't listen and off to his farm does trudge
But when he hitches up his plough, the donkey just won't budge
That shonky donkey just won't budge
So he rants and raves and he beats the beast, but there are hollers of dismay
As the farmer's youngest daughter tugs upon his pants to say
"Go the carrot..."
Say yes to positive, not no to negative
'Cos no to negative is not enough
Say yes to positive, not no to negative
Preposterously positive, that's the stuff

Well, that farmer pays no heed at all and a fracas does ensue
It's less than more than he bargained for and he says he's gunna sue
He's litigious through and through
But the donkey dealer on the phone laughs off that litigation
"You're a stubborn fool if you let that mule out-stubborn you all day, son, go…"

Now the daughter's found some carrots and the donkey well approves
He's got sparkling eyes and flapping ears and a twinkle in his hooves
A twinkle in his hooves
But the farmer bounds back full of beans for a refund's been agreed
So he'll never know he's letting go a strong, speedy steed indeed, if he'd gone..."

Will that farmer ever get the point? Will his daughter try in vain?
Will the donkey find a new farm that makes carrots and champagne?
Never real pain again!
Respect can't be demanded, it has to be inspired
And what goes round becomes a round, so a choir is thus required, go....
Credits
Mal Webb

Mal Webb

About “Carrot” by Mal Webb

Read the complete lyrics to "Carrot" by Mal Webb from the album "3 Cheers for Peace and Quiet". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Carrot" is performed by Mal Webb. from the album "3 Cheers for Peace and Quiet" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Carrot", explore more songs by Mal Webb using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Mal Webb · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Carrot" is credited to Mal Webb. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Carrot" appears on "3 Cheers for Peace and Quiet".

Visit the Mal Webb artist page at /artist/mal-webb for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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