[JACKIE, spoken]
It's a quarter
[JOE, spoken]
Mama ain't got no money
Hey Mama!
[JOE, spoken & EMMIE, spoken]
Where'd this money come from, you— (Leave her be, don't get her goin')
[JACKIE, spoken]
But it's a—
[EMMIE, spoken]
If she wanted to she'd of told you
You know what happens to children who snoop?
[JOE, spoken]
What?
[EMMIE, spoken]
Once there was a boy
Who asked his mama one too many questions and he died
He died
[JOE, spoken]
Aw, shut up
[EMMIE, spoken]
He did!
[JACKIE, spoken]
For true?
[EMMIE, spoken]
For true
[EMMIE]
Once upon a time in a shack by a lake
Live a boy and his mama so broke they break
Ugliest child that you ever saw
Name Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
DIdn't have a penny
No, he didn't have any
So he asked his ma
Old Lady Coleslaw
"Ma, I'm broke
And Ma, I'm glum"
And glory hallelujah to kingdom come
Ma reach in her pockets
[EMMIE, JACKIE & JOE]
And she give him some
[EMMIE]
"Look here, Roosevelt, see here, Ro
I got a penny"
[JACKIE & JOE]
"No, mama, no"
[EMMIE]
"I gots a nickel"
[JACKIE & JOE]
"Won't buy a pickle
That's no go
You way too slow"
[EMMIE]
"I got a dime"
[JACKIE & JOE]
"Now that's a crime"
[EMMIE]
"How 'bout a quarter?"
[JACKIE & JOE]
"Well, that's a starter"
[EMMIE]
"I got two"
[JACKIE & JOE]
Mama, I love you!
[EMMIE]
"Got three quarters
To be spent"
[EMMIE, JACKIE & JOE]
"Pretty Mama Coleslaw!
Seventy-five cent!"
[NOAH]
Caroline shows each silver quarter
To her kids
She's a divorcee
"Thank God we can eat now
Thanks to poor crazy Noah
Who's just a stoopnagle
Can't hang on to a quarter"
But at least now at supper
They talk about me
[EMMIE, JACKIE & JOE]
Sweet old Missus Coleslaw
[EMMIE]
She say, "Roosevelt, Roosevelt, have you a time
Spend a little money at the five and dime"
[JACKIE & JOE]
But Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw
[JOE]
He born dumb, he say
"Mama, oh Mama, where this change come from?"
[JACKIE & JOE]
"Mama, oh Mama, where this change come from?"
[EMMIE]
Mama went wild
"I earnt it, child!"
[EMMIE, JACKIE & JOE]
Then she whacked him and she smacked him
Upside his head
But she hit too hard and the child dropped dead
[JACKIE]
And he sprouted wings and he flew up to heaven
And heaven look like the Seven-Eleven
[JOE]
And all the stars of heaven they was pennies and dimes
[EMMIE]
Red-hot
[JACKIE]
Sweet-tart
[EMMIE, JACKIE & JOE]
Lemons and limes
[EMMIE]
Moon pie, food dye, Tootsie Pop
[JACKIE & JOE]
Pop gun, squirt gun, sticky bun
Silly Putty, Nutty Butter, sixty-four colors
In the Crayola pack
Pack pack
[EMMIE]
Bird call, slap paddle, Tinkywinks
Skip rope, licorice, Pickup sticks
[JACKIE & JOE]
Magic tricks, Lego bricks, pirate hooks and comic books
[JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
Comic books!
[JACKIE]
Superman
[JOE]
Batman
[JACKIE]
Aquaman
[JOE]
And Ironman
[JACKIE & JOE]
Spiderman, X-Men, Daredevil, Doctor Strange and
[EMMIE]
Wonder Woman! Diana!
[EMMIE & NOAH]
Princess of the Amazons
[EMMIE]
Magical lariat, golden tiara
[EMMIE & NOAH]
Bulletproof bracelets, lipstick and mascara
[JOE]
Stronger than anyone, six times as pretty
An eagle brassiere with a wing on each titty
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
Wing on each titty
Wing on each titty
Tittytittytittytittytittytittytittytitty!
[NOAH]
They talk about how my mama died
They talk about my tragedy
They wish that they could take me in
And I could live with Caroline
And Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe
Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe
Each evening I could up and go
Home to be a Thibodeaux
Emmie, Jackie, Larry, Joe
And Noah
Noah Thibodeaux
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
Oh, she did it, she did it
She killed her kid!
Oh Mama, oh Mama
See what you did!
R.I.P.!
[EMMIE]
She found him dead, his mean old ma
She screamed, "Roosevelt Petrucius Coleslaw!
Oh my child, my darling son
Your time on earth is gone and done
And you are lost and gone before"
[JACKIE]
But Roosevelt's an angel now
He bought out the store
And he still got nickels and dimes galore
His mama cry, "He gone too soon!"
But Roosevelt is sitting longside of the moon
And he says, "Miss Moon, will you be my Mrs.?"
[THE MOON]
I might, you sweet, but you gotta be rich
[JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
"I'm rich, I'm rich, will you give me kisses?"
[THE MOON]
I will sweet pea, indeed I shall
I'll be your lovey little looney gal
'Cause you are sweet and you are rich
[JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
So they went up to God and they got hitch
[THE MOON]
And I will wax and I will wane
I'll turn your brain into green moon cheese
I'll do every first thing that I please
I'll be your honey and I'll spend all your money
But I'll shine so bright
I'll be your delight
And I'll grow full and I'll grow fat
And you'll say to yourself
[JACKIE, JOE & NOAH]
"Now how about that?"
"How about that?"
[THE MOON]
And that's the last
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON]
That anyone saw
[THE MOON]
Of Roosevelt Petrucius
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON]
Coleslaw
He flap his wings and he flew away
And said goodbye to heaven and to JFK
And he's flying through space to this very day
Counting all the stars in the Milky Way
He counts so high he's a millionaire
And he doesn't have a care
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON, CAROLINE]
Ching, ching, ching, chingalinga (And now every morning)
Ching, ching, ching, chingalinga (Day after day)
Ching, ching (There's change in his pockets)
Ching, chingalinga (Quarters, pennies)
Ching, ching, ching, chingalinga (He's leaving 'em there)
A penny for Rosie and off he go (And I am mean)
A nickel, a quarter, he got some dough (And I am tough)
He rise in the skies and (But thirty dollars)
Look down below and say (Ain't enough)
"I'm a gonna buy me the Sky!" (Thirty)
Didn't have a penny, yeah (Dollars)
But now I got plenty
So I say goodbye (Thirty dollars)
No, Mama, don't cry
If I'm broke
[CAROLINE]
Ain't right
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON]
If I'm glum
[CAROLINE]
Ain't decent
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON]
Glory hallelujah to kingdom come
[CAROLINE]
Change in his pockets just lyin' there
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, THE MOON & CAROLINE]
I reach in my / his pockets and I find me some
[CAROLINE]
For free
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH & THE MOON]
I'm free
[EMMIE, JACKIE, JOE, NOAH, THE MOON & CAROLINE]
As the air!
