[Chorus: Harbyn]
I’m dying to live
And that’s just the way that it is
But I know
I can come back from this
[Verse 1: Marcus Smith]
Yesterday, I said “Goodbye” for the last time
I wish I’d said more but I thought we had time
The time ain't promised, like rings to baby mamas
Now I’m sitting, thinking “How are you gone and I'm just fine?”
I ain't coping well. I thought I saw you downtown
I had the windows open, listening to loud sounds
Riding ‘round, bumping Flo Rida, “Right Round”
Right now, it's all that I can do to not drown
I still have tickets to that show we were about to see
The fuck I’d look like, front row, if you ain't next to me?
I think you texted me, but it’s phantom buzzing
It reminded me of singing karaoke with your cousin
That was good times, many good vibes
Billy Joel said, “Only good die”. You was a good guy. I should cry
So if you hear this, man, know that I'm trying
Though I'm dying to live, while a part of me is dying
[Chorus: Harbyn]
I’m dying to live
And that’s just the way that it is
But I know
I can come back from this
[Verse 2: Marcus Smith]
I hope you got my last message
You know your mom and dad are still stressing
Your little brother was a mess. It's been a year
It’s like you wasn't even here
So I'm trying to kill the memories with beer and marijuana
I ain't been sober since I saw ya
Last fall, right before they threw the dirt up on ya
I wanna go and be a figure for your daughter
Share all your wisdom and life lessons, dawg, I
I had a moment last month at therapy
Doctor said let it out like you was hearing me
So I screamed, told you, “Tell me why you do this?” No answer
I punched the fucking wall until my hands hurt
Cancer or fucking lupus or something stupid I could’ve handled
I wasn't thinking, like, maybe that my man’s hurt
I'm sorry you couldn’t tell me
I never realized. Now it's nothing but tears in my eyes
[Chorus: Harbyn]
I’m dying to live
And that’s just the way that it is
But I know
I can come back from this
[Verse 3: Tracee Shade]
What up, [?]?
I see the family ain’t been the same
I'm in God’s hands now, I keep [?] your name
Imagine my surprise, seeing J.C. at the gate
Tears in my eyes, never thought I’d see this place
‘Cause they used to say “Ain't no coming back from such a sin.”
No matter what you’re going through, take a breath, then give in
To the almighty. Take his hand. Let him in
You a man with a plan but you mortal in the end
But anyway, I got your other message
It definitely hurts the soul to see my mother stressing
You know dad always been a master of deception
Still joking even when you asked the tougher questions
I wish I could’ve told my little bro, “Congratulations.”
He pointed to the sky, on stage, at graduation
Made my baby girl look up at me
I wonder if she saw me, ‘cause she looked so happy
But get this though:
You and I still vibe at the same time
Bumping Flo Rida, lose our mind at the same line
“Right Round” still on my karaoke soundtrack
They got everything here
So you know I had to find that
Competition’s pretty stiff here
But I don't think they got nothing on you
Everyone's voice is crystal clear
But that Marcus Smith flair
Nah, kid, that's coming with you
Now if you could show my daughter how to sing like you
Show her a little music thing or two
I feel like that could be the thing to do
To get some light shining back in your life
I should've followed my advice
I tried to catch you after therapy, man
I saw your hand looking red
Then I saw the hole in the wall
But I don't think that you was hearing me
When you rushed home to get in bed
I wanna give some closure for all, now hear me out
It's not your fault bro
Black in [?] society is beautifully awful
Like playing Madden for the first time on All-Pro
Coaching team while being the players also
I did what I can to provide for my seed
Hundred hours a week so she ain’t never in need
Since her mom ain't want to be around, it was on me
A burnt out [?] was something I don't want her to see
But the arrogance got me. Though I prayed a lot
I tried to muscle my way through all the pain I got
The suffering’s gone. I know this message is long
So I’ma hit you up again at your next song
I love you kid. Peace
[Chorus: Harbyn]
I’m dying to live
And that’s just the way that it is
But I know
I can come back from this
