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Kyle Lyrics by Kyle Kallgren

Brows Held High: Beauty and the Beast

0

KYLE: Brows Held High, my respected web show
I opine for a couple bucks
Brows Held High, everybody loves it
All my colleagues say...
PUSHING UP ROSES: It sucks!
BENNETT THE SAGE: It sucks!
TODD IN THE SHADOWS: It sucks!
LAST ANGRY GEEK: It sucks!
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: It sucks!
KYLE: In 1946 the Reich had fallen
And France no longer said “Sieg Heil!”
And from this new status quo
Came a man named Jean Cocteau
And he made a fairy tale...
LINKARA: Good morning, Kyle!
(spoken)
KYLE: Good morning Monsieur!
LINKARA: Where are you off to?
KYLE: Reviewing a movie. I found the most wonderful story about the nature of love and the creative process and an allusion to Orpheus...
LINKARA: That’s nice. Viga! More cybermats! Hurry up!
NASH, FILM BRAIN and RAP CRITIC: Look there he goes
He thinks he’s smart or something
A most pretentious cinephile
OBSCURUS LUPA: With a condescending gaze
PHELOUS: And an allergy to praise
ALL FIVE: What a brows-held-highfalutin prick, that Kyle!
CHRIS THE NERD: It sucks!
IANONNE: It blows!
MISS NIGHTMARE: It raped my childhood!
MIKEY INSANITY: It’s bad!
MEDIA HUNTER: It’s worse!
LINKARA: It's Uwe Boll!
ROSENHACKER: It's dumb!
SHEA: It’s weird!
R.L. KING: It’s got Ben Affleck!
KYLE: It delves into a tortured artist's soul!
(Spoken)
ALL THREE: What?
ROSENHACKER: How is this art?
R.L. KING: Artists have souls?
SHEA: I can torture Sam Kieth?!
DIAMANDA HAGAN: He only touches films we’ve never heard of
Can you believe he has such guile?
OMEGA GEEK: Why should we click on a link
If we don’t know what to think?
BOTH: No, I just don’t understand the ways of Kyle
KYLE: Oh, it needs no announcing
Just how many hearts this tale has moved
Ev’n if they fail pronouncing
The name “Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve”
PAW: Hello, I’m Paw and now it’s time for Best/Worst!
The best is obviously me!
And the worst is yonder snob
Who disliked Les Misérables
Do I really have to spell it out?
CHORUS: I think you have to spell it out
PAW AND CHORUS: Alright, let’s spell it out! K-Y-L-E!
JERK: In 1991 the Mouse was thriving
With Eisner, Katzenberg and Wells
When the studio unveiled
A new-fangled fairy tale
With a story line that rang a couple Belles....
FANGIRL CHORUS: Hey look! Some Jerk!
He’s got a camera!
Who’s he? Dunno
I thought you knew
I think he does
Reviews of Disney
I’ve never seen his show so I’ve no clue
LAST ANGRY GEEK: It sucks!
PUSHING UP ROSES: It blows!
TODD IN THE SHADOWS: It's crap!
BENNETT THE SAGE: It's shit!
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: It's worse than cancer!
LAST ANGRY GEEK: It's overrated!
PUSHING UP ROSES: It's meh!
BENNETT THE SAGE: It's drek!
TODD IN THE SHADOWS: It's bleh!
LAST ANGRY GEEK: It's wack!
PUSHING UP ROSES: I feel unclean!
KYLE: So let's review!
Sampled Vocal: It stinks!
LAST ANGRY GEEK: It hurts!
TODD IN THE SHADOWS: It's hell!
BENNETT THE SAGE: I HATE!
NOSTALGIA CRITIC: It has no answers!
PUSHING UP ROSES: It's not that good!
KYLE: A timeless masterpiece of silver screen!
JERK: I’ll make that guy review a film we’ve SEEN!
CHORUS: Look over there at the annoying douchebag
Who puts the artsy crap on trial!
What a wretched human bein’!
INSANE IAN: I like him!
JERK: Shut up, Ian!
KYLE: For my show’s next cinematic feast
I’m doing Beauty and the Beast!
JERK: Well ya better do it RIGHT at least!
CHORUS: HE’S KYYYYYYYYYLE!
It sucks! It sucks! It sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks!
Credits
Kyle Kallgren

Kyle Kallgren

About “Kyle” by Kyle Kallgren

Read the complete lyrics to "Kyle" by Kyle Kallgren from the album "Brows Held High: Beauty and the Beast". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Kyle" is performed by Kyle Kallgren. from the album "Brows Held High: Beauty and the Beast" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Kyle", explore more songs by Kyle Kallgren using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Kyle" is credited to Kyle Kallgren. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Kyle" appears on "Brows Held High: Beauty and the Beast".

Visit the Kyle Kallgren artist page at /artist/kyle-kallgren for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.