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Email Legends Lyrics by Marilyn Rucker

Tea Pot Lady

0

I check my email every morning
I’ve been doing this for months religiously
I like to keep up with the real news of the world
Not covered by the media conspiracy
Like that little boy who has no head
Who needs you to send him all your straws
His mother sticks them down his neck at suppertime
Click his website. Watch him suck applesauce
Chorus:
You know I wouldn’t kid you
I heard it from a friend of a friend
He’s a lawyer and a doctor and a priest you know
He’d never spread an email legend
II
So here’s a list of stuff you use everyday
That will kill you if you don’t change several things:
Antiperspirants cause Alzheimers
Bras cause cancer
So do maxi pads- the kind with wings
And NutraSweet will melt your brain
Especially if you drink it in coffee
And tampons are full of asbestos and dioxin
So if you have to use one
Try not to breathe
Chorus:
You know I wouldn’t kid ya
I heard this from a friend of a friend of a friend
She’s a doctor and a teacher and a cop
You know she’d never spread an email legend
And if you like to go out drinking
Keep your guard up on your kidneys
Cause if you pass out drunk
Your so called “friends” may cut them out
And sell them to unscrupulous M.D.’s
And if you listen all the way through this song
And forward the lyrics to fifty friends
Honda will send you a free car
It’s true!
Your choice of a Hyundai or a Mercedes Benz!
You know I wouldn’t kid you
I heard this from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend
They’re all veterinarians and notary publics and plumbers
You know they’d never spread an email legend
Tag:
Sound to good to be true?
Click here for more details
Bill Gates will pay you a nickel every time you do
It’s true!
Credits
Marilyn Rucker

Marilyn Rucker

About “Email Legends” by Marilyn Rucker

Read the complete lyrics to "Email Legends" by Marilyn Rucker from the album "Tea Pot Lady". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Email Legends" is performed by Marilyn Rucker. from the album "Tea Pot Lady" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Email Legends", explore more songs by Marilyn Rucker using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Email Legends" is credited to Marilyn Rucker. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Email Legends" appears on "Tea Pot Lady".

Visit the Marilyn Rucker artist page at /artist/marilyn-rucker for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.