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Darwin Would Be Proud Lyrics by Mark The Hammer

2023

[Intro]
Another year came to an end
And luckily we made it through
‘Cause one second you are here
And the next one – boom! – you’re in a tomb
A dignified death is unlikely
So much you’ll be ashamed to face the Lord
But you’ll be going to heaven with a prize
Which we call the Darwin Award
Let’s go
[Verse 1]
Once there was a taxi driver
Who was taking a couple home
And suddenly he spotted a wounded bear
Nearby the road
He hopped out of the car
Just to take a selfie with the animal
And guess what? The bear enjoyed human flesh
Like a giant furry Hannibal
And this is only the beginning
[Verse 2]
A biker was going back home
But something caught his attention on his way
A huge python on the asphalt
“I gotta bring it over to my place, ah-hah”
He tried to catch the snake
So that he could have sold him later
And the python started strangling him
And in 2 minutes he was meeting the creator
[Verse 3]
#NotAllMen
Dumb ways to die are for girls, too
Sidney had to move and so she did it
Like real superheroes do
She put the mattress on the roof of a van
And decided to ride it like she was Aladdin
And as the driver started moving the van
She fell off within a matter of seconds she was dying
[Chorus]
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
[Verse 4]
Once a horny teenage couple
Got into a hotel room
They forgot to bring a condom
And suddenly the guy spotted a glue tube
He thought it was a good idea to use it
On his penis to avoid a pregnancy
He died of multiple organ failure
Confusing everybody on the crime scene (Tha fuck?)
[Verse 5]
Once a man in Pennsylvania
Was performing CPR on his wife
“She was shocked by a hair dryer” (Sus!)
No traces of such device
And then a cop found a nipple clamp
Along with a BDSM whip
The man confessed: “It was an erotic game
I plugged the clamp into an electric stamp”
[Verse 6]
In a warzone a Russian soldier
Found a Macbook on the street
“Today’s my lucky day!”
No second thoughts, so he undid his zip
He slid the Macbook into the armor picket
Replacing a ballistic plate
And you guessed it, he was shot to death
Making all Ukraine’s day
[Bridge]
A tiktoker died after chugging bottles of booze
To complete a challenge
A matador tried to kill a bull
And oh my God, he got his ass handed
It’s weird laughing at this
I wouldn’t say that they deserve it
But you can’t call’em victims either
They just took their life for granted
Life is a fragile luck, guys
[Chorus]
And so Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Darwin would be proud
You know Darwin would be proud of you?
Credits
Mark The Hammer

Mark The Hammer

About “Darwin Would Be Proud” by Mark The Hammer

Read the complete lyrics to "Darwin Would Be Proud" by Mark The Hammer in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Darwin Would Be Proud" is performed by Mark The Hammer. in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Darwin Would Be Proud", explore more songs by Mark The Hammer using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Darwin Would Be Proud" is credited to Mark The Hammer. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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