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They Never Met Lyrics by Martin Mull

I’m Everyone I’ve Ever Loved

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[Verse 1]
The boy was almost forty-eight years old
All he'd ever gone to bed with, was a cold
And he said to his mama
"Mama, I'm afraid it's true;
Only woman that could love me is you."
The girl could almost drink her age in beer--
Couple cases, give or take a year
She worked at the hospital
Hey, lots of people do
That's where they fell in love
(Oh God, I wish that that was true)
[Chorus]
But they never met
Not even briefly
I know what you thought
You thought that they might
Now, what was the problem?
Thе problem was, chiefly
She workеd the day shift
And he worked the night
They never met
Not even informally--
I know you thought things like this work out right
No, no, they never met
Not even abnormally
She worked the day shift
And he worked the night
[Verse 2]
Now the boy is almost fifty-nine
You ask him, "How's it goin', Frank?"
And he says, "Fine."
"And what's become of Mama?"
"Well, Mama's in a better place."
And he points his finger right straight out in space
The girl is finally chief admitting nurse;
Considering what she had for brains, it could be worse
She could have been a victim of the dreaded Asian Flu;
She could have had to live with you-know-who--
[Chorus]
But they never met
Not even briefly
I know what you thought
You thought that they might
Now, what was the problem?
The problem was, chiefly
She worked the day shift
And he worked the night
[Bridge]
[Verse 3]
Now the boy's gone to meet his mom--
Natural causes: the bottle, not the bomb
They found him in the dining room
His face was in a stew
They dressed him in a suit of shiny blue
That same year, the girl gave up the ghost
The minister said she'd be missed the most
Her patients cried a tear
Recalling how she signed their casts
The nurses said she'd find a man at last
[Chorus]
But they never met
Not even briefly
I know what you thought
You thought that they might
Now, what was the problem?
The problem was, chiefly
She worked the day shift
And he worked the night
They never met
Not even in spirit--
I know you thought things like this work out right!
No, no, she went to Heaven...
But he's nowhere near it
She works the day shift
And he works the night
Credits
Martin Mull

Martin Mull

About “They Never Met” by Martin Mull

Read the complete lyrics to "They Never Met" by Martin Mull from the album "I’m Everyone I’ve Ever Loved". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"They Never Met" is performed by Martin Mull. from the album "I’m Everyone I’ve Ever Loved" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "They Never Met", explore more songs by Martin Mull using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"They Never Met" is credited to Martin Mull. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"They Never Met" appears on "I’m Everyone I’ve Ever Loved".

Visit the Martin Mull artist page at /artist/martin-mull for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.