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Adventures In Failure Lyrics by MC 900 Ft. Jesus

Welcome to my Dream

0

(No one can do it better)
Damn I hate this job
To work in this dump you gotta be a snob
Everybody gets on my nerves in this place
I think I'll take the afternoon off from the rat race
An exciting career
Don't amount to much but a pain in the rear
I bust my ass all day for a dollar
And then I go home and listen to the kids holler
Devoted spouse waitin' in the den
Wants to hit me upside the head with a rolling pin
Does that ring a bell?
A daily routine we all know well
I'm makin' more but enjoyin' it less
The good life's mainly causin' me stress
Making a change is difficult but
I gotta try to get out of this rut
But fear seems to be holdin' me back
Courage is the principle trait I lack
I gotta calm my nerves so I can think
I pour myself a nice stiff drink
And another this is my usual mode
One for the money and ten for the road
Ah, now everything is clear
I gotta get the hell out of here
Yes now my mission is plain
A Big Mac is calling my name
I gotta sample some of Ronald's cooking
So I raid my wifes purse when she's not looking
Pondering the wonderful thing called marriage
I accidentally back the car into a baby carriage
'scuse me ma'am I'd love to stay and chat
But watch where you're going next time you old bat
I hit the gas and zoom down the block
Leave 'er in the dust yellin' for the cops
Swervin' round a corner tryin' to steer
I get so excited I almost spill my beer
A neighbourhood dog is yappin' at my bumper
So I slam on the brakes and I hear a big thump
I jump the curb and land up on a lawn
Then I finish my beer and turn the radio on
Some idiot's goin' on about rehab
I grab a brew and yank on the pull tab
Here comes a little old lady with a shot gun
I put the pedal to the metal and she runs
Digging on my off-road driving power
I do a donut in a bed of flowers
Then I jerk the wheel a little to hard
The car rolls over and over on out of the yard
(Causin' much destruction)
(Act the fool)
I come to rest in the middle of the street
A bunch of empty beer cans rattlin' at my feet
Starin' in the window is a nosy little brat
I look him in the eyes and say "I meant to do that"
Then I notice my watch says I'm overdue
For my big appointment at the local drive through
I do a number on the accelerator
And I'm cuttin' in line about thirty seconds later
Whaddya think this is?
Some kinda joke?
Gimme 10 Big Macs and a small diet coke
I pull up to the window with my radio playin'
I grab the bag and leave without payin'
I weave down the road for a block
Jugglin' a beer and a a styrofoam box
Pull into a parking lot and kill the motor
Presently I notice a peculiar odour
A little black smoke is risin' from the hood
Somethings gonna happen and it's probably not good
I open the door grab my stuff and go
Just in time to watch the whole thing blow
The car explodes with a bang and a hiss
Oh boy, my wife is gonna really like this
I can't believe this is happenin' to me (Hot Damn!)
This piece of junk's goin' back to the factory
This was a blatant attempt on my life
Everyone will fall for that
Except my wife (Hot Damn!)
But wait a plan begins to emerge
I suddenly have an overwhelming urge
To spend the night in the great outdoors
My suburban lifestyle has become a bore
I'll build me a fire
And finish my burgers
What my wife don't know (Hot Damn!)
Won't hurt her
I leave the scene of the unhappy event
Resolved to make the most of my predicament
A few yards away I feel better
I know! I'll write 'er a letter
Or better yet a ransom demand
Got your husband send the money understand?
Or else we'll send his head home in a jar
P.S
Sorry 'bout the car
Yeah, now that ought to really do the trick
I'll be gettin' off the hook and she'll be worried sick
But really, I'm gonna make it up to you honey
I'll buy you a new car with your own damn money
I walk a while into the sunset
A man, at peace with the world, you bet
Nothing can diminish my total enjoyment
Except when I pass my place of employment
Damn I hate this job
To work in this dump you gotta be a snob
Everybody gets on my nerves in this place
I think I'll take the afternoon off
From the rat race
(Hard like a criminal)
Credits
MC 900 Ft. Jesus

MC 900 Ft. Jesus

About “Adventures In Failure” by MC 900 Ft. Jesus

Read the complete lyrics to "Adventures In Failure" by MC 900 Ft. Jesus from the album "Welcome to my Dream". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"Adventures In Failure" is performed by MC 900 Ft. Jesus. from the album "Welcome to my Dream" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Adventures In Failure", explore more songs by MC 900 Ft. Jesus using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Adventures In Failure" is credited to MC 900 Ft. Jesus. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Adventures In Failure" appears on "Welcome to my Dream".

Visit the MC 900 Ft. Jesus artist page at /artist/mc-900-ft-jesus for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.