[Intro: MC Hammersmith]
Em hello eh, I've written a rap
My name is MC Hammersmith
Representing middle class West London
Word to your parent or guardian, listen
[Verse 1: MC Hammersmith]
I'm six foot like a threesome
Spittin' rhymes is my reason
Booked for shows 'cause my bars nice
Got more gigs than a hard drive
Sickest MC with the rhyme (woah)
Rappers get faded, I shine (woah)
Don't feast on rappers, I dine (woah)
Is your dick bigger than mine, no
Rappers say they sick they just debilitate my health
So electric when I rhyme, I plug the mic into myself
Kickin' with the lyrics that'll leave you bloody flabbergasted
I'm a snappy, dapper bastard, other rappers whack and flaccid
I'm a total lad, and if I can allege
I'm not a giant window sill but I am a massive ledge
Known to be a shagger 'cause the ladies love my humour
When I rhyme I get 'em really horny like a tuba
Stackin' that money in my cash app
Send shivers down your spine like a back slap
Attract so many ladies it's mad cap
Get pussy through the door like a cat flap
Excuse my French but fuck you mon ami
I'm serving pain: boulangerie (uh)
Deep breath 'cause the next bit makes me light headed
Check out the way I be doin' it when I be grabbin' the mic and I'm rippin' it
When I flippin' it off the tip of the rhythm, a critical limit is imminent
And I be spittin' it even harder than granite stone
Because I be clearly nailing it: acetone
Deafening and deadly academic when I detonate
I'm definitely decadent your derriere I'll decimate
These rappers think they're good that's a ridiculous belief
I'll box these shits: Gillian McKeith
Your CD be weak like CBD
I'm the BBC on PCP
Your material's fake: PVC
That's what I D-E-T-C-T-E-D
I'm the grim reaper with thin femurs
Hot damn like singed beavers
Hate myself: dejection
Hard on myself: erection
So young when I started deploying inflection
I wrote my first rhymes at the point of conception
Been spitting it sick since I had a placenta
And dropping mixtapes since the second trimester
These rappers are pitta-full: baba ganoush
I'm rinsing these pussies: vaginal douche
Big dick and clever so better remember
A member of MENSA and member immenser
Your girl's the ugliest
My girl's so hot I pleasure her with oven mitts
When I bust that rap scheme
She gets tre wet like a canteen
Quickest MC with the raw rap
Gun so big I got a sore back
You'll meet da-feet like a door mat
And I've got a small penis, ignore that!
Walk into the club with my massive dick
Draggin' it behind me like a sack of bricks
Swing it all around like I just don't care
Concuss myself and wake up in intensive care
My King Kong ding dong hit ya like a big bong
Ball slap, I bring it back and bounce it like ping pong
All of my equipment gets 'em damper in the gusset
Shaft so big Thatcher tried to shut it
Rippin' a bit of a lyrical image a bit of particular rigour
When I'm beginning to pick on the bitter you better be givin' it bigger
Gonna be tellin' me I'm not the best rhymer
Well, I'll have a bone to pick: Grindr
Raisin' up the temperature, I make the ladies wetterer
And still I'm rhymin' betterer than ninety-nine percent of ya
Colder than a polar bear, hotter than a solar flare
Shat myself in Wagamama, sorry that's an overshare
I'm unreserved, you're highly strung: Thunderbirds
They touch a nerve so fuck the TERFs
That's a little blue: Papa Smurf
Got flair and sickness and a hairy mistress
And the motherfucking lyrics that'll scare you shitless
So step to my rhymes you'll frankly be reeling
Coming achoo like I'm wanking and sneezing
[Outro: MC Hammersmith]
Thank you!
