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A Very Sad Story Lyrics by MC Paul Barman

Post Graduate Work [7" Single]

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Aight...una storia molto triste, triste triste
Our teacher thought it was narcolepsy so she bought you a diet Pepsi
She thought you were pathetic, wanted you kinetic like Wayne Gretsky on a jetski
But you downed it, let out a great big (grevky?) and went straight back to sleep
Is it the late hours that you keep?
By the time you were a sophomore the teachers began to scoff more
Don't fall asleep in school!
All you achieved was drool
And face imprints on your forearm
You know you did yourself much more harm
Than to me or to your teachers
Graduation, you're in the bleachers
Not graduating was no deterrent
Now in the bleachers you wish you weren't
And look: that was just how you messed up your high school years. A few years later, it was even worse. Let me tell you about it:
You took thalidomide, your baby's arm solidified into a flipper
The father is a stripper
He didn't want to marry
He assumed you would miscarry
His name was Harry
And another thing that's scary
He sports a bulge (of sorts?)
Men pass him (5 dollari?)
And he pulls down his red shorts
And the patrons, they stop talking
'cuz they're barfing on his cock ring
That's some boyfriend that you've got
Now you have a crippled tot
You choked it with leiderhosen
He got a stroke, now his feet are frozen
He can't move without a ride
Mercy infanticide failed
Normally, you'd go to jail
But every foster parent in the world
Looked at your son and then they hurled
Your judge wishes you'd succeeded
'cuz your son was born defeated
And that is a true story. Well, reflective of a true story, anyway
This beautiful girl, her name was [CENSORED], in fifth grade she used to draw horses. Now she's a dominatrix and she shaved off her eyebrows. I just don't understand
Credits
MC Paul Barman

MC Paul Barman

About “A Very Sad Story” by MC Paul Barman

Read the complete lyrics to "A Very Sad Story" by MC Paul Barman from the album "Post Graduate Work [7" Single]". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop.

"A Very Sad Story" is performed by MC Paul Barman. from the album "Post Graduate Work [7" Single]" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Very Sad Story", explore more songs by MC Paul Barman using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Very Sad Story" is credited to MC Paul Barman. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Very Sad Story" appears on "Post Graduate Work [7" Single]".

Visit the MC Paul Barman artist page at /artist/mc-paul-barman for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.