(The SEA CHORUS "ascends" to create the ocean surface near the shore. ARIEL, a beautiful young mermaid, enters with a splash. Another splash nearby reveals FLOUNDER, a rambunctious young fish and Ariel's best friend.)
[FLOUNDER] (spoken)
Hey, Ariel! There you are!
[ARIEL]
Just look, Flounder! The sun, the sand... isn't it the most beautiful place you've ever seen?
[FLOUNDER]
I dunno, Ariel... I'm not sure we ought to be up here.
[ARIEL]
Don't be such a guppy!
[FLOUNDER]
A guppy?!? I'm as brave as you are! I'm not afraid of anything—
[ARIEL]
What about sharks?
[FLOUNDER]
Where?!?
[ARIEL]
Oh, Flounder, you really are a guppy!
[FLOUNDER]
I am not!
[ARIEL]
Awww...
(gives FLOUNDER an affectionate pat on the head)
You'll never guess what I found today. Look!
(lifts up a large silver serving fork)
Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?
[FLOUNDER]
Wow! Cool! What is it?
[ARIEL]
I don't know... but I bet Scuttle will! Come on, I'll race you!
(#8 – FINDING SCUTTLE. With a splash, ARIEL hits the water.)
[FLOUNDER]
Hey, wait for me!
(The SEA CHORUS moves to create the effect of ARIEL and FLOUNDER swimming through the water. The SEA CHORUS forms a small rock island. SCUTTLE, a seagull, enters, humming and looking through the wrong end of a telescope.)
[ARIEL]
(surfaces and swims right up to SCUTTLE)
Scuttle!
[SCUTTLE]
(calling out to ARIEL "in the distance")
Mermaid off the port blow! Ariel, how you doin', kid?
(puts down the telescope and sees ARIEL up close)
Whoa! What a swim!
[ARIEL]
(waving the fork)
Scuttle, look what we found!
[SCUTTLE]
More human stuff, eh? Lemme see...
[FLOUNDER]
Can you tell us what it's for?
[SCUTTLE]
Wow! This is special. This is very, very... unusual.
[ARIEL]
What? What is it?
[SCUTTLE]
It's a dinglehopper!
[ARIEL]
A dinglehopper?
[SCUTTLE]
Oh, these babies are fantabulous... absolutely indispensary.
(#9 – HUMAN STUFF.)
When it comes to dinglehoppers, I'm a regular encyclopoodia!
[SCUTTLE] (singing)
(vocal last time)
SAY THAT-CHA WANNA HAVE A HAIRDO
LIKE THE FOLKS WHO LIVE UP THERE DO,
THAT'LL FLAP THEIR WIGS!
(Other GULL enter from the rock island.)
[GULL 1] (spoken)
FLOP their wigs!
[GULL 2]
Flap!
[GULL 3]
Awwwk!
[SCUTTLE] (singing)
WELL, YOU'LL LOOK ABSOLUTELY DANDY
IF YOU USE ONE OF THESE HANDY
LITTLE THING MA-JIGS.
[GULL 1] (spoken)
Thing-a ma BOBS.
[GULL 2]
Jigs!
[GULL 1]
Bobs!
[GULL 3]
Awwwk!
[SCUTTLE] (singing)
PICK UP THE DINGLEHOPPER,
JUST LIKE SO.
TWIRL IT THE WAY I'M TWIRLING NOW...
GIVE IT A LITTLE YANK, AND THERE YA GO!
YOU'RE WHAT THEY CALL "THE DOG'S MEOW"!
[SCUTTLE, GULLS, & (GULL 3, spoken)]
WONDERFUL STUFF (Awwwk!)!
THAT HUMAN STUFF!
CAN'T GET ENOUGH (Awwwk!)...
...OF HUMAN STUFF!
AND WE ARE THE AUTHORITY,
NO NEED FOR US TO BLUFF!
BECAUSE WE'RE GREAT AT EXPLANATIN'
HUMAN STUFF!
(SCUTTLE pulls out a pipe.)
[ARIEL] (spoken)
What's that?
[SCUTTLE]
A snarfblatt!
[ARIEL]
Wow!
[SCUTTLE] (singing)
WHEN THEY INVENTED SNARFBLATTS,
JUST BY CHANCE,
SUDDENLY LIFE WAS LA DI DA!
SNARF-BLALTTS ARE WHAT YOU USE
TO MAKE FOLKS DANCE!
GIVE IT A BLOW, AND THEN... VOI-LÀ!
[SCUTTLE, GULLS, & (GULL 3, spoken)]
WONDERFUL STUFF (Awwwk!)!
THAT HUMAN STUFF!
IF YOU'RE A BUFF (Awwwk!)...
...OF HUMAN STUFF!
[GULL 1]
IT'S MAR VA-BLE!
[GULL 2]
STUPENDI-FUL!
[SCUTTLE]
COMPLETELY A-O-J!
WHICH SOUNDS ABSURD,
BUT TAKE MY WORD,
[SCUTTLE, & GULLS]
THAT'S WHAT THE HUMANS SAY!
WONDERFUL STUFF!
THAT HUMAN STUFF.
NONE OF IT FLUFF!
NOT HUMAN STUFF!
AND HEAVEN KNOWS,
SINCE WE'RE THE PROS,
YOU'LL GET NO GUFF.
[SCUTTLE]
AND ONCE YOU'VE GOT A WHO'S-MA JIG...
[GULL 1] (spoken)
A thing-a ma-what...
[GULL 2]
A whatch-a ma-gig...
[SCUTTLE] (singing)
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO BRING YOU UP TO SNUFF!
[GULLS]
RIGHT UP TO SNUFF!
[SCUTTLE, & GULLS]
WITH PROPER DINGLEHOPPER GROOMIN',
REST ASSURED, YOU'LL LOOK REAL HUMAN!
[SCUTTLE, GULLS, FLOUNDER, & ARIEL]
WE KNOW,
'CAUSE WE KNOW HUMAN STUFF!
[SCUTTLE, & GULLS] (spoken)
Awwwk!
[FLOUNDER]
(with pipe in mouth)
Does this thing really work?
[SCUTTLE]
(takes the pipe from FLOUNDER)
Sure thing, kid, and I ain't just blowin' smoke. It makes music the likes of which you never heard—
[ARIEL]
Music? Oh no! The concert! My father's gonna kill me!
[FLOUNDER]
The concert was today?
[ARIEL]
I completely forgot! Come on, Flounder. Thank you, Scuttle!
[SCUTTLE]
Anytime, sweets. Anytime!
(#10 – HUMAN STUFF – PLAYOFF / INTO URSULA'S LAIR. ARIEL and FLOUNDER dive underwater. SCUTTLE and the GULLS flap away.)
