wild horses, alabama rain, romance in durango, be my baby, second that emotion,
i’ve been listening to all the songs
you ever played for me
or that remind me of you
…
i thought i was ok
on the plane flying home
but then i hummed ‘against the wind’
by bob seger
and broke inside
…
i think you think i’m not heartbroken
because i am extremely active on facebook
and none of my macros have been obviously about you
…
you say i stopped making macros for you
when i stopped loving you,
i’m here to tell you i’ve made EVERYTHING
for you, it all, EVERYTHING
…
i could fuck somebody tomorrow but i won’t
i could be a fucking porn star
...
i wanna get abused by you, screaming at you
for being a drunk asshole
grab me by the dick
and slam me against the wall
…
you say that i can’t handle you
but you can’t handle my mind,
my fears, desires
and tenderness
…
can you handle my sexuality?
can you handle my teleological inability to love?
can you handle the fact that i push away everyone that i sleep with?
can you handle the fact that i might be gay?
…
you taught me what ‘wall of sound’ really means
will you ever be part of my duende???
you tell me i can’t handle you
but you promised you could go there with me
and you couldn’t
…
you don’t know your own power
you can make me vegetarian
you can make me run away from your rages
you can make me sick and drunk on your electricity,
speaking my daily madness in your own tongue
you can make your depression your own
languishing without you for months
...
smoking cigarettes and frying catfish,
a recording of the nazi orchestra
playing beethoven’s ninth on vinyl,
but we never went to telluride
…
you were poison,
so i got a book about plants and poetry
i don’t know if i read to try
and find your wild vine
or to tap the source
and find the cure
...
your daddy was a broken knight
who breathed you to life with glass in your lungs
he couldn’t read his dreams
and neither can you
...
you acted like you were rich and cool
and didn’t give a shit about anything
and it turned me on
but i found out it wasn’t true and that
you were fucked up and lost
...
i think of meeting you casually for coffee
and i have no idea what we would talk about
you would probably be bitter and opinionated
and i would either be scholarly
or break down completely
…
i was going through all your pictures
on facebook and i realized you’ve been using
the same goddamn expressions for four years
…
i don’t know if i’m making this series
to make you feel awful
or if i’m making this series
to remind you that i’m still the greatest
...
turning your head to the side
sad-eyed letting out smoke after
telling me fucked up things that
happened to you
saying it was a hard year
…
i’m sorry baby
i didn’t realize
that was just you
being fragile
…
but you still have more fire
than all the fire trucks
could ever put out
...
i wanna play ‘stand by me’
on a boombox
outside your window
...
oh susanna
oh michael
i love you
i love you too
…
torn apart by the things we have in common
we both like dick and i guess that’s the problem
…
the fun part is everyone i know is fucked up
and trying to figure it out
and this half-warm coffee,
too much sugar like you do,
brings me back to waking up
in your apartment at 2pm
…
i’m too broke inside to go around
pullin swag and standing tall
i’m too sad to take down
all your pictures on my wall
i’m just trying to live a life
that feels like less of a mess
...
i met you once, played cool then ran away
from your blue-eyed swagger
i thought about you for weeks, chasing you
like a comet that spiked my heart
…
we made eye contact at the drinking pool
and made love so soon
and now i’m a tomcat but i feel like a broken bird
…
once we left eachother i’ve only got sour words,
and i’ve lost the courage to make mistakes
i betray myself without you
...
baby girl get in my sunshine
get in my rain
we could drive up and down the mountains
and i’d never feel this sense of loss
but now i’m blue like a bluejay
and have to fly away
…
i will listen to your favorite songs
as many times as necessary
in that spot between my soul and yours
where i don’t know if i’m leaving you or staying forever
