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Jeff Poops His Pants (skit) Lyrics by Millicow

Train Of Thought

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[Skit: Millicow as Mark the newscaster & Joe Donner as Tom Withewether]
GZS NEWS: BREAKING NEWS!
A local Lettuce Town resident by the name of Jeffery O'Donnell shit his pants while shopping for groceries yesterday. He was standing right here, about to put a bag of lemons into his cart, when his bowels suddenly decided to spew at least an entire gallon of hot, steamy shit into his pants and down onto the floor right in the middle of the fruit aisle. Look, you can even still see a little shit in the crack between these two tiles of linoleum!
Eyеwitnesses report that Jеffery then started crying, saying "I'm never going to live this down" and "this is going to define who I am for the rest of my life". Luckily for O'Donnell, a kind employee reassured him that, "Hey, only like three people saw this happen. It's not like this is going to be all over the news for the next week. Don't even worry about it."
Stay tuned for more updates on this juicy story! Now here's Tom Withewether.
Hi, I'm Tom Withewether. I'm very excited to talk about this fascinating story that's quickly sweeping the incontinent. You know, it must be absolutely mortifying to shit your pants in the middle of a supermarket. I couldn't imagine what Jeffery O'Donnell is going through right now, and I feel very strongly for him.
Thank you Tom. You know, I was thinking, what if the city hosts a big party where we all surround Jeffery O'Donnell's house and hold up signs saying "we know you pooped your pants, but it's okay. shit happens."? We all need a way to show him that we're supportive of him through this hard time in his life.
Great idea, Mark! In fact, I think we should make this a weekly event. It would be a great way to bring the community closer together and make Mr. O'Donnell feel understood.
I like how you think, Tom, but how about we take this one step further and turn it into a city-wide holiday? Every week we'll have a brief gathering, but once a year, we'll spend the whole day singing songs about why it's okay to shit your pants sometimes, and that you don't need to be embarrassed. Jeffrey O'Donnell's sacrifice will never be forgotten. Because of him, we could prevent a lot of social isolation with his heart-touching story.
Now we're talking, Mark! We could even erect a statue in the town square of Jeffery O'Donnell shitting himself next to a basket of lemons to send a message out to future generations for millenia to come that 'hey, you're not the only person in history who's ever shit themselves. it's okay. you can forget about it and move on with your life.' Because if I were to ever shit myself in the middle of a grocery store, the last thing I would want would be for it to follow me around for the rest of my life.
I completely agree, Tom. Thank you for joining us today.
And thank you for having me.
Next up on Lettuce Town News: we invade Jeffery O'Donnell's house to get a live interview! We'll be right back with this groundbreaking development after a shart commercial break.
Credits
Millicow

Millicow

About “Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)” by Millicow

Read the complete lyrics to "Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)" by Millicow from the album "Train Of Thought". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Comedy, Skit, Non-Music.

"Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)" is performed by Millicow. from the album "Train Of Thought" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)", explore more songs by Millicow using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)" is credited to Millicow. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Jeff Poops His Pants (skit)" appears on "Train Of Thought".

Visit the Millicow artist page at /artist/millicow for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.