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A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29 Lyrics by Momus

Slender Sherbert

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I'm jealous of the men whose penises are larger than my penises
And I'm jealous of the men whose penises are so enormous they outstrip all average penises
I'm even jealous of the men whose penises are slightly smaller than mine
A complete history of penis envy, sizes 24-29
I'm jealous of the women whose slightly protuberant clitorises pass for penises bigger than mine
I'm jealous of the men who measure the penises of the men whose penises reach size 29
And my only consolation for penis envy would be to write a bitter and twisted little song
Called 'A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29'
I once saw a man whose penis was so big he had to wheel it around in a wheelbarrow
And I used to think it wasn't what you got but how you used it that mattered, but now I don't know
And if you see me one day muttering, shabby and mad in the doorway with a paper bag round a bottle of wine
Just put it down to penis envy, sizes 24-29
Credits
Momus

Momus

About “A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29” by Momus

Read the complete lyrics to "A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29" by Momus from the album "Slender Sherbert". On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rock.

"A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29" is performed by Momus. from the album "Slender Sherbert" This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29", explore more songs by Momus using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29" is credited to Momus. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"A Complete History of Penis Envy, Sizes 24-29" appears on "Slender Sherbert".

Visit the Momus artist page at /artist/momus for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.