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Australian table wine Lyrics by Monty Python

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Good evening! For the first time, on record, a 29 part adaptation of King Solomon's Mines -- Wines, sorry, wines -- King Solomon's Wines.
A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity, as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palette, but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.
"Black Stump Bordeaux" is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good "Sydney Syrup" can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.
"Chateau Bleu", too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
"Old Smokey, 1968" has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian wino society thoroughly recommends a 1970 "Coq du Rod Laver", which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.
Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is "BEWARE!" This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.
Another good fighting wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat
Quite the reverse is true of "Chateau Chunder", which is an appellation controle, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation -- a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
Real emetic fans will also go for a "Hobart Muddy", and a prize winning "Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga", which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
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Monty Python

Monty Python

About “Australian table wine” by Monty Python

Read the complete lyrics to "Australian table wine" by Monty Python. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music, Spoken Word, Comedy.

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"Australian table wine" is credited to Monty Python. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

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Visit the Monty Python artist page at /artist/monty-python for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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