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Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings) Lyrics by Monty Python

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DAD:
There are Jews in the world
There are Buddhists
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammad, but
I've never been one of them

I'm a Roman Catholic
And have been since before I was born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm

You don't have to be a six-footer
You don't have to have a great brain
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came

Because

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God gets quite irate

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's:
MOURNER #1:
Mine...
MOURNER #2:
And mine...
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUNS:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate

About “Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)” by Monty Python

Read the complete lyrics to "Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)" by Monty Python. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Pop, Comedy.

"Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)" is performed by Monty Python. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)", explore more songs by Monty Python using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)" is credited to Monty Python. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "Every Sperm Is Sacred (Monty Python Sings)" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Monty Python artist page at /artist/monty-python for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.


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