[Intro]
Pop, split, prints, uh-oh!
Tijuana, lawsuits, and now...
Deanne Brady-Stidham of the California Women's Central Jail
In her rendition of "Cell Block LuLaRoe"
[Chorus]
Pop, split, prints, uh-oh! Tijuana, lawsuits
Pop, split, prints, uh-oh! Tijuana, lawsuits
They had it comin', they had it comin'
They only have themselves to blame
You could have worked hard and sold those leggings
But now your bonus check's up in flames
[Verse 1]
So I met Mark Stidham in Salt Lake City, and we told each other we were single. And we hit it off right away. So, we started a pyramid scheme together. We thought of work, we'd come home, safe for the knowledge that we and our family, and our immediate relatives would always be financially comfortable; whilst thousands of women who we told were the CEOs of their own companies (but they were actually customers), they were filing for bankruptcy
You know… some women just can't handle the market foreclosure
[Chorus]
They had it comin', they had it comin'
They only have themselves to blame
[Verse 2]
You know, how some people have little these "lawsuits-filing" habits to get you down? Like Dan Kang. Dan Kang is the CEO of a huge manufacturing company, and well, he likes to make money like me and Mark; but one day, me and Mark decided not to pay him. Well, I come home this one day, I'm really irritated, I've run out of Xannies, I'm lookin' for a little bit of sympathy from Mark!
But he comes at me, and he says "Danny's filing a lawsuit against us!" So I said to him, I said "You counter-sue that bastard!"
And he did, he counter-sued him for one billion dollars
[Chorus]
He had it comin', he had it comin'
He only had himself to blame
He could've lied and start his own MLM
He needs to play the LuLaRoe game
[Verse 3]
Now I'm standin' in the kitchen, and I'm carvin' up a chicken for dinner, minding my own business because I'm a woman who knows her place. And then, in strolls my husband Mark, in a crazy rage about one of our top sellers! "Robert Budenbender has been involved in a scandal", he says, and he kept on screamin' "Robert Budenbender has been involved in a scandal!"
(My name is Robert, I'm special)
Uh-oh… so, we cut ties with the National Down Syndrome Society
[Chorus]
If you had been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
[Verse 4]
My sister Dianne and I had this double act. And my husband Mark traveled around with us, we'd go around shilling these maxi skirts, that my sister Dianne had made. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, one right after the evening, they'd sell out every single time! So this one night before our party, threw these poppin' pills, havin' a few laughs, and we ran out of Xannies so I went out to get us some. I come back, open the door, and there's Dianne and Mark having a little "conversation" about how she's the one who made the first maxi skirt!
Well, I was in such a steady shock, I completely blacked out. I can't even remember a thing! It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, that I even knew she'd start up Honey & Lace
[Chorus]
She had it comin', she had it comin'
She fucked it up before it began
She coulda let me take credit for one maxi skirt
That's why I never mention Dianne
They had it comin', they had it comin'
They only have themselves to blame
You could have worked hard and sold those leggings
But now your bonus check's up in flames
[Verse 5]
I love the LuLaRoe more than I can possibly say. Our clothes were of the highest quality. But Mark, he was always tryin' to find the cheapest deal. He'd go out every night, tryin' to find a factory that would make clothes for even cheaper than MyDyer did. Well, on the way, he convinced MyDyer to use cheaper materials and cheaper manufacturing processes… I guess you could say it was a bad idea. There was one woman, who wore some of our leggings to Disneyland, and they split across both cheeks! I guess she shoulda come to Tijuana
[Chorus]
A dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
A dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
She had it comin', the little fatty
She only had herself to blame
She's just a hater, shoulda come to Tijuana
That's why her ass is out, what a shame
They had it comin', they had it comin'
They only had themselves to blame
You coulda worked hard and sold those leggings
That's why your bonus check's up in flames
[Outro]
No, you're stale, your customers are stale
Such an amazing experience
They asked for our help
My name is Robert, I'm special
That's why your bonus check's up in flames
