Ladies and gentleman
I got a story to tell
Come on and sit side by side on this carpet
It goes a little something like this
She came on me hard
No holds barred
She showed up on my porch
She was horny, desperate for intercourse
Sitting on the couch
In a partial slouch
Wondering what the hell this was all about
Saw her tongue through the peephole
Didn't open the door, she called me an asshole
I double clicked the locks
I saw her panties drop
Girl put them shits back on, 'fore the neighbors call the cops
She said stop playing coy
You know you wanna play with this toy
I had to take you back, you had a loose arm
And you small stuff, found you out of my Lucky Charms
And I ain't messing with your boyfriend, he swore me bodily harm
Oh he ain't gonna do nothing, he a gentle giant
I got a lawsuit pending, my lawyer's first client
I'd never said I'll be your man, that was for one night
And I ain't wearing body armor, so don't call me your shining knight
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
She walked off my porch, I thought she was going home
I heard a bell somewhere, it came from my phone
So many fuck u's had me in distortion
I thought she was blowing this shit way out of proportion
Then I heard a noise, sound like a damn woodpecker
Then I looked up, damn I should've never fucked the heifer
She put her signature in bubble letters right on my car
She gave me the two fingers, she really went too far
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
Then her boyfriend came
Dirty ass do-rag, looking like a reject LeBron James
He tripped over the curb
I started laughing, his stupid ass got what he deserved
I had to end the show, I scrambled outside
Man about mine's, ain't no reason to hide
This nigga stormed my backyard, you still fucking my girl?
She wanted to play possum now, I saw her arms curl
I told him I'll send him a bill, cover all my damages
He beat my ass so bad, my body was covered in bandages
Face flat on the grass, I saw her wide ass grin
Too bad my face couldn't share the same sentiment
I was glad to seem them drive off, couple of degenerates
I learned my lesson now, I'll save myself for marriage
Paramedics had me riding first class in a horse and carriage
She was gone from my life, now I couldn't complain
Though my face was more busted up than Martin Payne
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
Where was I?
Who was I with?
Why'd I always put myself in this shit?
Where was I?
Where did I leave off?
Thought I was on my way, somehow I got lost
On the ride over, I was day dreaming
About last night's horror movie, that girl wouldn't stop screaming
She had her chess board out, she played me for a spawn
She had it premeditated, that's why I was flat on my lawn
I laughed about the shit, it was too damn funny
How I didn't fight back, I let this buster jump me
I knew I was the man, that's why she paid me another visit
But what took place the last two days, you couldn't pay me to relive it
This for the men, don't fall too hard for the pussy
There's crazy women out there, who'd love to get pushy
And leave your dick in your hand, while you fall on your tushy
That's why you can't take a piece out of every cookie
This for the men, don't fall too hard for the pussy
There's crazy women out there, who'd love to get pushy
And leave your dick in your hand, while you fall on your tushy
That's why you can't take a piece out of every cookie
This for the men, don't fall too hard for the pussy
There's crazy women out there, who'd love to get pushy
And leave your dick in your hand, while you fall on your tushy
That's why you can't take a piece out of every cookie
This for the men, don't fall too hard for the pussy
There's crazy women out there, who'd love to get pushy
And leave your dick in your hand, while you fall on your tushy
That's why you can't take a piece out of every cookie
Yo these women be crazy man
Goddamn
Thought they told me this player shit was supposed to be easy man, I guess not
Whatever tho', fuck it
Moving on to bigger and better things ya feel me?
