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Gay Old Life Lyrics by Nathan Lane

Dicks: The Musical

2023

[HARRIS, spoken]
I've been meaning to tell you for some time
There's no easy way to say this, but, but
[TREVOR, spoken]
But what?
[HARRIS, spoken]
Ha, I'm gay
[CRAIG, spoken]
What the fuck dad, you're gay?
[HARRIS, spoken]
Well I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm, but yes Craig
I'm gay
Queer as a three-dollar bill and just as stale
[HARRIS]
I wake up, drink my coffee
Have brunch around eleven
Walk my Bichon Frisé
Then nap 'til half past seven
A night out at the Symphony
Such elegance, what poise
Or maybe I'll just stay at home with my two sewer boys
The answer is perfectly clear
It's a gay old life, being queer
[HARRIS]
There's nothing dangеrous about vacationing in Spain
That is, until you have thrown half you're savings down the drain
But monеy should be spent on things both lovely and refined
The sewer boys drink blood for fun and also read my mind
Don't get in a tizzy, my dear
It's a gay old life, being queer
[CRAIG, spoken]
What the fuck are those things?
[HARRIS, spoken]
My sewer boys
Pale little inbred creatures, live underground
Only communicate in clicks and whistles
[CRAIG, spoken]
What are they? Explain this to me
[HARRIS, spoken]
Ha, well it's a long story, very well
Well, yeah, get a hat
[HARRIS]
Many decades ago, I was down in the sewer
[CRAIG, spoken]
Why?
[HARRIS, spoken]
Shh, Daddy is singing
[HARRIS]
Rowing my boat through the slime and manure
[CRAIG, spoken]
How did you get a boat into the sewer?
[HARRIS, spoken]
You wanna hear the story or not?
[HARRIS]
Collecting adventures and treasures galore
But I couldn't guess, what fate had in store
I rounded a bend, and what did I see?
Two creatures so bloody, so foul, so carefree
They were taking a bath in the corpse of a swine
And that's when I knew, they had to be mine
I tried to entice them, but they were too quick
Tried to rip out my trachea, bite off my dick
With a club, I subdued them and made to depart
And I stole the two creatures, who'd stolen my heart
[CRAIG, spoken]
Jesus
[HARRIS]
My boy, there's no reason to jeer
It's a gay old life, be-ing kuh-weer
[HARRIS, EVELYN]
I bathe in bleach (Skiing up in Aspen)
I play the horn (And sailing off West Palm)
One time I died (The snow is fine as powder)
I suck on corn (The waves are always calm)
I poison fruit (But no matter where I am)
I kissed a chair (There is no way I can resist)
The urge to climb below the street and smell that stinky mist (I juggle for exercise, never use alphabet and a tornado's my friend)
The answer is perfectly clear
It's a gay old life, being queer
I have no pussy
Credits
Nathan Lane

Nathan Lane

About “Gay Old Life” by Nathan Lane

Read the complete lyrics to "Gay Old Life" by Nathan Lane from the album "Dicks: The Musical" in 2023. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Rap.

"Gay Old Life" is performed by Nathan Lane. from the album "Dicks: The Musical" in 2023 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Gay Old Life", explore more songs by Nathan Lane using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Gay Old Life" is credited to Nathan Lane. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Gay Old Life" appears on "Dicks: The Musical" in 2023.

Visit the Nathan Lane artist page at /artist/nathan-lane for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.