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Moth Joke Lyrics by Norm Macdonald

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[Conan]
Welcome back. I'm sitting with Norm MacDonald, and. Now, not ALL your material comes, er, from the, from the news–is that right? You know, you know...

[Norm]
No, some of my material comes–my strongest material comes from real life

[Conan]
Real life?

[Norm]
Like for instance, today, I was driving in a car–you were kind enough to bring a car to bring this old chunk of coal here to the studio

[Conan]
Haha–we send, we send cars for guests, yes

[Norm]
Yeah, so I got in it and that’s I, er, I get material that way, so my driver–

[Conan]
What do you mean, what-what, how do you get material that way? You get in the car and what happens?

[Norm]
Er, my driver tells me a joke

[Conan]
Ahahaha! The driver we sent to pick you up told you a joke?

[Norm]
Yeah

[Conan]
And you're going to tell it now on the show?

[Norm]
Yeah, that's how I get a lot of my material

[Conan]
Ahahahah–OK. Why don’t we just have *him* on next time?

[Norm]
Ah, that guy. Yu–nah, that guy. No, wait till you hear ME do it

[Conan]
Ahahahah

[Norm]
So the guy, he goes, er, I say–I'll be the guy

[Conan]
OK

[Norm]
A moth–A MOTH goes into a podiatrist's office

[Conan]
A MOTH goes into a podiatrist's office?

[Norm]
YOU ARE CORRECT [pause] A moth goes into a podiatrist's office, and, er, the podiatrist's office says "what's the problem" and the moth says "what's the problem? where do I begin man?" He goes "I go to work, for, er, Grigory Linovich, and, er, all day long I work [pause; audience laughs] honestly Doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore–I don't even know if Grigory Linovich knows. He only knows that he has power over me–and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I, I walk here and there." The podiatrist says "Oh yeah?" The moth goes "Yes" he goes "ah, at night, I, I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady, in my bed, that's on my arm. A lady that I once loved, Doc. I–I don't know where to turn to. My youngest–Alexandrina [audience laughs] she-she fell, in the, in the cold of last year. The cold took her down as it did many of us."

[Conan]
Mm-hmm

[Norm]
"And my other boy... [audience laughs] and this is the hardest pill to swallow, Doc. And my other boy–Grigaro–Ivanalinovich–I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see, i-i-is the same cowardice that I, that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only the cowardice was stronger, perhaps [audience laughs], perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all"

[Conan]
How long was a drive was this?!! Do you live in the Valley, where do you live? Please, sorry...

[Norm]
He says "Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I'm a moth. Just barely hanging onto my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good." And so the moth–the Doctor says "Moth, man, you're troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?"

And then the moth said–

"Cos the light was on"
Credits
Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald

About “Moth Joke” by Norm Macdonald

Read the complete lyrics to "Moth Joke" by Norm Macdonald. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Non-Music.

"Moth Joke" is performed by Norm Macdonald. This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Moth Joke", explore more songs by Norm Macdonald using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

View all songs and biography for Norm Macdonald · Trending lyrics · Billboard Hot 100

Frequently asked questions

"Moth Joke" is credited to Norm Macdonald. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

Album information for "Moth Joke" is not available in our database yet. You can still read the full lyrics on this page.

Visit the Norm Macdonald artist page at /artist/norm-macdonald for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.

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