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Wetzel’s Pretzels Lyrics by Off Book Cast

Sham Wowowow

2017

[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY (spoken)]
Well, we’ve got a lotta kinds of pretzels
[DIETER (spoken)]
No, I’d like und Wetzel’s Pretzel.
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
That you might like to try!
Don’t be so sure
Of what kind of pretzel you want
[DIETER (spoken)]
No, I want und Wetzel’s Pretzsel.
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
Some pretzels are the normal kind
Some pretzels have a zest of an orange rind
Some zestels will help you see the future
Some Wetzel’s Pretzels have the zest of kombucha
[GROUPIES (WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY)]
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Listen to the customer!)
Wetzel’s Pretzels (Yeah), they’re amazing
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
[DIETER (spoken)]
No, I’d just like und regular Wetzel’s Pretzsel.
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY (spoken)]
Sure, let me do that… and uh, okay, one Wetzel’s Preztel…
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
I can dip it in a powder
[DIETER (spoken)]
No
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
A powder of bee pollen
Sing about what you want, no need to be stallin’
I can dip it in vitamin C and give you a boost
This Wetzel’s Pretzels is also owned by a Jamba Juice
We got Vitamin C, other supplements
We got acai berry it makes no sense
You can put it on a hotdog
You can put it on a bun
When it comes to Wetzel’s Pretzels
We’re the only one that does this
[GROUPIES (WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY)]
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Independently owned)
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Not following corporate rules)
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Everybody talkin’ bout)
Wetzel’s Pretzels (Wetzel’s Pretzels)
They’re amazing
[DIETER (spoken)]
No, just und regular Wetzel’s Pretzel.
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
Absolutely, that’ll be 2.99
[DIETER (spoken)]
Oh - oh actually, I do need two Wetzsel’s Pretzels
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY (spoken)]
Okay, that’ll be 6… 0… five eighty ninty eight, that'll be
Wait
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY]
Would you like to add a lemonade?
A lemonade on the side?
Not a normal lemonade
There’s a lemonade with something to hide
There’s a lemonade that’s full of vodka
There’s a lemonade that’s full of gin
You want a lemonade to fuckin’ knock your socks off
This is where to begin
[GROUPIES (WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY)]
Wetzel’s Pretzels (Wetzel’s Pretzels), they’re amazing
(We’ve got a liquor license)
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Technically not a bar)
Wetzel’s Pretzels, they’re amazing
(Listen to the customers)
Wetzel’s Pretzels (Wetzel’s Pretzels)
We are drunk
[GROUPIE (spoken)]
I’m so drunk on Wetzel’s Pretzels!
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY (spoken)]
Just two pretzels then?
[DIETER (spoken)]
Yes, please.
[WETZEL’S PRETZELS GUY (spoken)]
Well, had to try!
Credits
Off Book Cast

Off Book Cast

About “Wetzel’s Pretzels” by Off Book Cast

Read the complete lyrics to "Wetzel’s Pretzels" by Off Book Cast from the album "Sham Wowowow" in 2017. On Lyrks you can follow along with the full text, explore the artist's discography, and discover related songs. The track is often categorized under Podcast, Musicals, Non-Music.

"Wetzel’s Pretzels" is performed by Off Book Cast. from the album "Sham Wowowow" in 2017 This page provides the full lyric text for fans who want to sing along, study the songwriting, or compare versions across releases. Lyrks organizes lyrics by artist and song slug so you can bookmark and share a stable URL. Music lyrics help listeners connect with emotion, narrative, and rhythm in a track. Whether you are learning English, researching a favorite chorus, or preparing for karaoke, having accurate line breaks and section labels (verse, chorus, bridge) makes the experience easier. We link to the official artist profile on Lyrks where available, including biography snippets, top songs, and chart placements when we have that data. If you enjoy "Wetzel’s Pretzels", explore more songs by Off Book Cast using the links below. Chart and trending pages on Lyrks highlight what listeners are searching for this week. For copyright or correction requests, see our DMCA and contact pages.

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Frequently asked questions

"Wetzel’s Pretzels" is credited to Off Book Cast. Songwriting credits may include additional writers listed on the release; check the credits section on this page for linked collaborators.

"Wetzel’s Pretzels" appears on "Sham Wowowow" in 2017.

Visit the Off Book Cast artist page at /artist/off-book-cast for biography, popular tracks, and links to more lyric pages.